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Sunday Survey; Just Kidding

sidewalk cynicPleased with myself at having honoured my need for rest, I stretched out gloriously long on the chesterfield, with book in hand.

Ah yes, this was life at it’s finest; nothing to do, nowhere to go, sun shining and breeze blowing through my open patio door.

But not so.

Before I even had a chance to raise my book to read, I had a man walk across the shared lawn, over my patio stones, and right up to my screen door. I watched as he cupped his hands to his eyes, and peered through.

“Hello,” the moron said. “I’d like to talk to you about your internet service….”

I’d like you to fuck off and stop looking through my window. That’s ok darlings, I only thought it, I didn’t say it out loud.

“No thank-you.” I said.

“Do you have internet service?”

I have an Irish temper, and an iron skillet that I’d like to show you. Again, I kept my thoughts to myself, and didn’t move from my  relaxed looking position on the couch. I’m deceptively nimble for a big chick. I can pounce from prone to standing in 2.5 seconds flat.

Instead, I said, again, “No thank-you.” My reasoning was, I was in such a blissful state of yo that I just didn’t want to get myself worked up.  After another annoying exchange about no soliciting, Mr. Creepy-Bell-Canada-Look-Through-Your-Window-Guy-On-Commission moved along, and I called security.

Don’t try to tell me he wasn’t a Bell representative either you greedy monopoly-creating-shits. He was wearing a Bell shirt, had on the dorky company lanyard and a clipboard in hand. He could just as easily have been Rogers bred. Trust me, this guy wasn’t scouting for future break-ins, he was just trying to feed his kids.

I don’t have such a problem with the weirdo at my window as I do the capitalistic culture which created the poor guy. Every chooch behind a counter has a pen and a schpeel about a survey. Every time I call customer service for anything, I get an email or another call with a survey.

Enough bureaucratic  red-tape already! This is not consumer protection, it’s a make work project for some asshole in a suit who, I’ll bet my socks, makes way too much money.

Quit wasting my time, precious resources and paying people shitty commission-based, or total-commission salaries, and get the hell off my patio on Saturday afternoon! Stop calling my phone, cluttering my inbox and having your paid-to-the-poverty-line employees cling to my screen door.

If you want honest feedback, we don’t give a shit about your surveys. Just post your overly bureaucratic complaint policy on your website and leave us alone.

Our government is a sell-out and a joke. Our citizens are apathetic, and whiny. Our health care system is a system without care for health, only numbers. Yet, this is one of the best countries in the world to live in. That’s heartbreaking.

When people are desperate enough to risk their dignity for their jobs, it’s time to speak up and stop the madness. Our country is going to hell, one contract-no-benefits and commission paid employee at a time.

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I Can’t Make It

"Female friendships that work are relationships in which women help each other belong to themselves."
“Female friendships that work are relationships in which women help each other belong to themselves.”

Today I had to send regrets to an event I’d been looking forward to for months, and I felt awful about it.

Yesterday, after much planning on my part, and much coordination of transportation based on the almost impossible traffic situation in the GTA, four out of 7 of us arrived at our Summerlicious ladies lunch destination.

I was disappointed that there were only 4 of 7 of us there, and I had a serious self-talk in the morning about why I would never bother to organize a bunch of women again. “Like herding cats,” I grumbled to myself.

Some cancelled last minute, an other was the victim of the traffic-hell that we have become so apathetic about in Toronto.

But the dynamic of the group never ceases to amaze me. For every situation, whether it be social or professional, no matter who shows up, it’s always worthwhile.

For the press, these dining events have become a battle of dining between what I consider to be ignorant servers, and customers;

For you, it is a chance at a satisfying meal at a restaurant you might not typically be able to afford.  For the people who get your meal to the table, it means weeks of unpaid overtime, exhaustion, unforgiving diners and crummy tips.” by  Siobhan Morris , as posted at Newstalk 1010.

In any business, there are going to be customers you want to kick out the door, and in some cases, you should absolutely take your patent-leather stilettos and shove one up a backside or two. Employers should also be paying fairly, but this just isn’t a mark on the food-industry, it’s a symptom of greed at-the-top in every industry.

Despite the spin the press puts on these events, it’s usually been a lot of fun.  And these events are meant to be fun.  We want to be there. We want to know about your restaurant, your menu, your wine list, and we want to find a place that we can depend on to offer excellent food and service.

Yesterday one of the gals tried a wonderful grapefruit, rosemary cocktail, one stuck to a juicy cabernet, and I tired a micro-brew lager that was delicious.  We all ordered coffee, and left better than the minimum expected, 15% tips.

Yesterday we dined at Destingo, and the menu did not disappoint. More importantly the atmosphere and the service were beyond welcoming.

As in; the staff didn’t look down their noses at the middle-aged table of women who were only half in number of their initial reservation size.

As in; the staff were knowledgeable, polite, prompt, and seemingly unrushed, despite hosting a packed house.  That is a mark of good management, and happy employees. We all know that happy employees create happy customers.They were smart enough to realize that we’re tired of cooking and coddling, and we’re the market who doesn’t just celebrate events, we’re experienced lushes who prefer to have someone cook for us. We are good business.

menueBravo Destino! After 16 Winter & Summerlicious dinners with groups ranging in number from 3 – 16, you were the best experience yet!

So, to the chefs and servers out there who don’t want our business, don’t worry, we won’t’ be knocking on your door any time soon.

For the folks at Destingo, I know that they will have repeat business from our group who were so well treated and well-fed yesterday.

Finally, for the ladies who tried to make it, but got caught in traffic hell, and the ladies who couldn’t make it; we missed you, and we understand.  Winterlicious is only 6 and a half months away.

And for my impatient, overworked – self; remember it’s ok to change plans once in a while to keep oneself on that sexy-even-keel, remember what a wonderful feeling it was to have everyone together yesterday. I think I’ll go  ahead an organize a Winterlicious that’s wonderful.

 

 

 

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Is It Really News?

I read the news today, oh boy.
I read the news today, oh boy. (Photo credit: Flооd)

I hope that you had a chance to catch up on the news this weekend. God help you sweetie if you’re relying solely on the newspaper, although it is terribly entertaining.Saturday evening I took in the news in my favourite chair at my favourite cafe. I suggest you pour your favourite warm beverage and enjoy the next five thoughts that I leave with you as the weekend wanes.

1) David Bowie is back with his first album since, well, since he got his teeth capped in that my-what-big-teeth-you-have-grandad way, and his face lifted.  Mr. Bowie, you were beautiful, and would have aged beautifully all on your own.

2) A very ‘young’ 62-year-old female is seeking a 63-72 year old male to enjoy the finer things in life. 72? Really? How on earth did you come  up with that number? Parcheesi? And by ‘young’ do you mean born late in the year, say…December? You either need dementia meds or a reality check you deluded ego-maniac. Nowhere in the advert did it say she was hoping for more meaningful characteristics in her future companion than him being ‘slim’ and ‘financially independent’.  Whatever happened to nice, kind and compassionate? The human race is doomed, doomed I say!

3) A plethora of pages dedicated to what to do with the kids during March break.  How about let the little buggers go outside, use their imagination, get a few scrapes and bruises and breathe fresh air? How about chill out and get to know what ‘home’ means?

4) Another movie aimed at the hearing aid set . Cloudburst is about two old lesbians. Yes, it’s great that we’ve finally woken up as a society and no longer demonize people for their sexuality/gender/curious preferences. I’m sure it’s a charming movie, but I go to the movies to escape. I don’t want to see 80-year-old lips (of any description) on anything but a lap-dog or a grandchild. We all get old. I get it. Just let me have entertainment that doesn’t knock me over the head with the sledgehammer of reality.

5) How NHL players dress when they’re not on the ice. Who. Cares?  Talk about 10 inches of desperate-to-fill-the-page-junk.

Wishing you the intelligence to question what you hear, read, view and are told is the ‘news’.