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Dear 2015

Photo ritghts are not not mine. I believe they belong to : www.b4men.nl "Write it in your heart that every day is the best day in the year." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson" "
Photo rights are  not mine. I believe they belong to : http://www.b4men.nl
“Write it in your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson”

My darling 2015, what took you so long?

I’ve been waiting for you since 2013. I thought 2014 was my soul mate, but it turns out I was wrong. So many of us were wrong about that charmer.

But you, you’re the one. I can just feel it in my squishy girly bits.

Take off your boots and put your feet up by the fire. Let me get you something to warm you from the inside out my deliciously, mysterious friend.

This year we’re going to have a lot more beach and a lot less stress. Yes, my sweet new love, let’s make that promise to one another so that when we toast one another good-bye and I move on to your big brother in 2016, we know that we’ve shared a special once-in-a-lifetime. Sand and sea breezes always bring out the best in me, and I’m ready to give it to you! In a pinch, we can settle for pool-side or more long, hot, deliciously candlelit baths. Bring poetry.

Already you’ve gifted me the pleasure of new company thanks to Vicki and Monica. What a delightful way to begin our relationship; surrounded by completely wonderful people who I didn’t know before.  It’s always a blessing to meet kindred spirits who know how to laugh and enjoy life.

You really need to introduce me to your friends. Don’t be jealous 2015, think about it. I’m going to need a lovely man to stick beside me after you leave. That’s your number one priority this year. Do you hear that 2015? A good one; kind, funny, loving, and if it’s not too much to ask, a little younger with some little giddy-up left in him. I will defer to your judgment here as mine has historically sucked.

I woke up with a headache this morning, and I’m assuming that’s because you knocked all of the negative el-poopo out of my energy field last night while I was getting my beauty sleep. Not so rough, eh? I need my lessons delivered gently, with a slow hand and generous heart. After all, I am a lady.

So, I’m all yours 2015.  Fully, completely, and unabashedly committed to making you a year to remember as one that brought good health, joy and love to not just me, but everyone I consider a friend.

Now, enough of all of this talk. Let’s go snuggle.

 

 

 

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New Man for the New Year

So you want this to be the year that you do it?Francesco de' Rossi's painting 'Portrait of a Man'

Yah, do it. Over and over and over in a deliciously hot mess with the man of your dreams.

Then we gotta talk girl.

Cozy up with a glass of whatever makes you think straight, and listen up sweetheart.

This goes for you too guys.

Top Ten Tips to Get You that Delicious Man in the New Year

1) Give up the bad boys. That’s right, they’re the human equivalent of a warm croissant with jam. They taste delicious and and are a pleasure to nibble, but leave us hungry an hour later.

2) Open your eyes. Yes, open them and be prepared to be gobsmacked. There are wonderful, intellectual, caring men available to you right where you are. Quit rolling your eyes. You likely have a couple of them lolling around in your brain as possibilities even before you finish reading this paragraph.

3) Quit being a snob. Just because you have more letters after your name than he does doesn’t mean he can’t give you a few lessons in life.

4) Say yes. Just say yes…to coffee, a movie, dinner. That’s the best advice anyone ever gave me; when someone makes a suggestion be curious enough to search it out (at least a little bit).

5) Go out. Alone. Men do not infiltrate a gaggle of gals unless they’re stark-raving mad, or wagering a bet. By alone, I don’t mean in dark alley-ways or for your run in the part after dark. Use your head.

6) Be nice. Being nice is pretty simple, but something we overlook all the time. Don’t treat them any other way than you wish to be treated. He wasn’t your cup of tea?Politely tell him that. Worst case, you get a restraining order.

7) Appreciate that he’s also looking. That means that someone just as good looking, well-educated and witty (she also has the same fabulous stilhettos and lipgloss) is out there just waiting for him if you give him the cold shoulder.

8) Rip up your check list. Seriously. None of us are a perfect set of scores 100% of the time.

9)Don’t settle. You know, for the bad boy routine. If he doesn’t call and he’s not around, move on. Immediately.

10) Love yourself first. Whatever it is that rejuvenates you, do that. Every day. That’s what makes you irresistible.

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2014 – The Year You Did It

“For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.” ~T.S. Eliot~
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.”
~T.S. Eliot~

If all goes as planned (and it shall), I will be dancing the night away as this blog is being posted, ushering in the new year as I wish the remainder of the year to be; surrounded by friends, meeting new people, dancing and laughing. May the champagne ever be cold and ready for pouring….

I hope that this is the year you do it; graduate, fall in love, get the job you want, pay your bills, reclaim your health, let all the negative stuff go, allow yourself to be nurtured, take your dream vacation, check off a few items from your life-long-I-gotta-do-it-list, feel secure in your independence, move, go back to school, break-up, make-up, or whatever it is that you need to do.

Just commit to being the best version of you possible, and you can’t go wrong!

If you’re at home reading this during a more contemplative new years evening, may you know peace.

If you’re at home reading this on new year’s day, may you know that a big greasy breakfast and tomato juice almost always kill a hangover.

However you decided to ring in 2014, I wish you every happiness, good health, and an abundance of everything good that this new year has to offer.

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2014: The List

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."  ~Walt Disney~
“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”
~Walt Disney~

Last year I had a total of three items on my 2013 To-Do-List.

Two of them were within my control, and I’ve checked those off. The third….let’s just say it’s a little more…it’s going to have to be an addendum to the 2014 list.

So far there are two items on my 2014 list, and the 2013 addendum of course. But I’m working on that one, making an effort to keep my mind and heart open to all possibilities.

Of the two items on the 2014 list, I will share only one of them with you my darlings. That’s right, it’s a lady’s prerogative to keep some things to herself and herself alone.

The number one item on my 2014 To-Do-List is to……(drum rolllllllll please!)….FUN.

Yes, this year I’m going to have more fun.

Yep. I know, I know. It seems like my life is one day of sunshine and rainbows after the next, but that’s not the case. 2013 saw its fair share of hard work, worries, and sleepless nights.

With a list of just two things and an addendum, I think I can manage a little more fun.

I’m not just talking about your run of the mill, go-to-the-fair-sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-in-the-shower kind of fun.

I’m talking about making the most of every moment and enjoying it. Having more fun at work, with my kiddo, while I tidy the house, and as I make my way through traffic every weekday morning. Now that will be a challenge.

I suppose the more intellectual folks our there may call it mindfulness, being in the moment or some such sophisticated spiritual way of being. I’m just going to call it “fun”.

This may take some later nights, a case of bubbles, and a sprucing up of my business suit inspired wardrobe, but I’m willing to do the work. Besides that darlings, laughter is sexy.

What’s on your list?

 

 

 

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Waiting for a Sign; 2014

Guiding lights
Guiding lights (Photo credit: James Jordan)

Today is a rare and wonderful lazy Sunday. I know it will be filled with great music, leftover Indian food, and much thought about the closing of one year, and the revelation of another.

2013 was a challenging year. However challenging, in true Scorpio style, I rose to meet those challenges, mostly, I think. Well, let’s just say that I got by with a lot of help from my friends.

Not one to make resolutions, last year, I made a list. A short one. A “To-Do-List”, that would most likely take a year to be fulfilled.

With only three items on it, how could I not focus on each and every one, however massive and life changing those listed items may have been?

Unlike resolutions, lists are finite tasks which are intended to be completed. Resolutions are the equivalent of the late night booty call whom we wake up to sometime in March. Only then do we realize that our  resolutions  packed their carry-ons and quietly left around January 5th, leaving us with their ugly, snoring, unshaven twin-brother.

With a grand leap of faith and some ferocious determination, I whittled my 2013 list down to one, last, frustrating item. Frustrating, because I believe that except for being open to it, it’s out of my control.  That one thing is niggling at my insides.

Trust me, I’ve tried to tame it with stilettos, champagne, adorable men-folk, and fabulous lipstick. I have waxed philosophical and tried to surrender to it.  On more than one occasion I’ve tried to tame that little niggling #3  with bourbon and writing.

Alas, it remains unsatisfied, and teases me. It whispering about the universe and her grand sense of humour and mischief. I may, indeed, have already achieved what I set out to achieve in item #3 of my 2013 ‘To-Do-List”. I may be able to check-tick item number three, but I don’t know for sure. Nor will I before the clock strikes midnight and 2014 rises like a virgin debutant, casting her blinding light over the future.

Watching the tail of 2013 slither off into the shadows of the new year is something that I’m looking forward to, even though I know it will coil up in a corner of my soul like every year has since my birth, reminding me of lessons learned, and that surrender is necessary for graceful living. Le sigh darlings. Le sigh, indeed.

Not only is the new year upon us, but it comes in unison with a new moon. My body is so tightly bound by the cycles of the moon that I’m always tempted to hide until the tides of new and full moons are over. I’d like to say that I bring out my surfboard and camera when this happens, and play in the energy. The truth is, most times, I only don a brave mask, persisting rather than surrendering.

So, as I began this post, I fall into my lazy Sunday. It’s not lazy according to the standards of most. I will begin to take down the glitter and gold that welcomes Christmas. It is my ritual, and every year I do it alone, with intent, feeling that something has ended and something new is about to begin, even though I can’t define the ends or beginnings in concrete terms. I liken it to watching the last embers burn in the fireplace, and then rise again as new fuel is added.

Through a brilliant blue streak of profanity, the tree and the ornaments will be packed away. The fridge will be purged of leftovers, and I will begin to consider my list for 2014.

It will be a gentler list, a more spiritual one since my basic needs were at the heart of what I needed to change in 2013. I will be more specific and gentle with the thoughts and wishes I put out to our beautiful universe. But I will be as persistent. I will even be grateful to the beastly nature of 2013 that forced me to birth a new life, to challenge my self-confidence, my values and my spirituality.

I wish you a lazy Sunday, or any other day. One, during which you can take stock and reframe your purpose. May your ‘list’ for 2014 be true to what you need.

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2013 Resolutions

 “For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.”~T.S.Eliot~
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.”
~T.S.Eliot~

I pride myself on never, making resolutions. After all, when you’re strong, intelligent, and capable of all things, why limit  yourself to just a few things, right darlings?

Well, for one, you, or I may be all of those things, but 2012 has been a hum-dinger of a year. Let’s have a little fun with a few resolutions shall we?

This coming year I’m going to go whole-hog on the resolution train. I’m going to propose a list for you my sweet little peaches, and for myself.

Some of the ‘suggested’ resolutions may resonate with you, and others may not.

Come back and check every week or so, just to see how much meat is left on the bone for your spiritual-devil-may-care-self-improvement.

1) Eat less, make more love.

2) Do not second guess someone else’s intentions. You will only ever know your own heart, so get on with it. If you’re unhappy, simply move along.

3) Connect with others, not because any of you NEED something. Just connect. Enjoy being surrounded by the wonderful people who care about you.

4) Control your anxiety. Meditate or medicate, whatever gets you through the night my tender little dumplings.

5) Remind yourself on a daily basis just how far you’ve already come. You are strong,  you are capable, you are  freaking awesome!

6) Lower your expectations. Just because you see wonderful potential in another human being does not mean they will ever succeed in reaching it. Accept others as they are, and invite them into your life based on how they ARE, not how you would like them to be.

7) Fear – kick it in the pants. The best gift you can give to yourself and your children is fearlessness. Not crazy, stunt-person-put-your-hand-in-the-tiger’s-cage-fearlessness, but a fearlessness that let’s you explore and learn.

8) Believe in love. Believe in romance. Believe in lovers being  your best friend. Sweety, all of our hearts have been put away wet a few times, but it’s out there for you if you just believe.

9) Appreciate the world around you; Spend more time in the city. Take in the lights, the life, and the culture. Spend more time in the country, learn about where your food comes from, and how to do-it-yourself.

10) Don’t accept the gift of negative poo-poo from anyone. They can dish out whatever they want, but you don’t have to touch it. Simply don’t accept it. Reject it politely,with a smile of course.

11) Hug more.

12) Take up a new-old hobby that you used to love but got squeezed out of your life when you were too busy becoming a responsible adult. Responsible  can also be fun, flirty, and interesting. Do not be dull.

13) Smile. Hope. Dream, and believe that it will come true.

You may like my  little list, and you may think I have bats in my belfry. Whatever the case, I hope that you can choose one or two things to inspire you as the old year disintegrates, and the new year rises from the ashes.

Wishing you peace. Wishing you wisdom. If you’ve mastered these two things, then I simply wish you joy.

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The Art of The Christmas Letter

"      “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”~ Bill Cosby ~
“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
~ Bill Cosby ~

Whenever I receive a Christmas letter folded lovingly inside a carefully written Christmas card, I take time, with a cup of tea, to sit back and enjoy the entire thing.

I marvel at what wonderful years that my friends and their families have had, and it warms even the most cold, cynical corners of my fabulous little heart.

This year, my darling younger cousin (he’s fabulous, AND single ladies – inbox me for his number ) has been the only one to send out a Christmas letter, complete with photo, and a string of accomplishments from his year.

I’m still waiting for the one from my previous boss, I look forward to that one every year. This year I hope he mails me the Austrian cookie recipe that his mom used to make for us.

I contemplated writing a letter this year, complete with photo and oodles of glorious details about my perfect life.

I even thought of substituting our dysfunctional family Christmas card with pictures of my kiddo, the pets and I, for a demure folded number with a delicately written one-pager tucked inside.

But who am I kidding? I’m not a delicate one pager. I’m a blood-and-guts-of-it-warrior-writer-of-truths-and absurdity.

Besides, this has not been a year for the record books. My Christmas letter would go something like this;

Well, here it is, the end of 2012.  What’s new? Not a whole lot. I did stick to my guns and take a year off of being in ‘relationship’ (with a total douche-sac). That’s been refreshing.

My kid is awesome, but I don’t want to brag too much about it or else it will sound like bragging, and you’ll all think I’m obnoxious.

My book; 20 pages and I’m done, but they’re kinda like the elusive last-five-pounds. It’s going to take some serious pacing, procrastinating, and a month away at a secluded writing retreat with no TV  and lots of wine in order to get it finished.

We did have a lovely trip south this year, and it was awesome. So awesome in fact, the police had to pile me on the plane to come home because I didn’t want to come back. Ten days of bliss out of 365 – a sad ratio of bliss:reality.

Le sigh, my french friends, le sigh indeed.

Wait, that’s not quite the ratio. Upon reflection I had awesome times with my mumster, including spa days, and many,many lunches out together. I enjoyed weekend get-aways, and even managed to save my bestie from going to the slammer during a night of, um, well, revelrie.  You don’t get to do that very often at this age. Yes, I guess 2012 hasn’t been that bad at all.

Spring found me in a great running routine, and summer out on the river paddling. Fall on the other hand held out a hand of caution and my athletic pursuits were halted because of a health scare. As a result, my new short hair-do is scrumdillyumptious though and brings out my breasts er, eyes, and gives me a realistic goal – growing my hair long again.

Every weekend I’ve been fortunate enough to be at the AGO, or sharing dinner and wine with friends, or tucked away at a cafe somewhere writing.  I’d say the ratio of bliss: reality is more like 365:365, after all, it’s what you make of it isn’t it? 

Next year you’ll be emailing me for my new address and passing out my new business cards. I hope. Continued, friendship-buoyed, hope – now there’s a reason to crack the champagne as the calendar flips into 2013. 

Put a few bottle on ice for me – I’m anticipating wonderful celebrations to stay in vogue beyond the December 31st/January 1st split.  Next year’s letter is going to be dangerously fabulous!

Don’t fret my dears, if your 2012 was as up and down as Lombard street. I’ve heard you, and enjoyed our chats over coffee, on the phone,and your emails. Not every year is letter worthy, but that’s what makes the good times so darn good. If you’re like me, you’ll use your ‘fallow’ years as  rich ground to grow your dreams, or at least use them to relax and rediscover the joy of laughter.

Here’s to creativity, love and abundance as 2012 ends with the warm, magical season of light that we call Christmas.