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Mistletoe & Manson

"What happens under the mistletoe, stays under the mistletoe."
“What happens under the mistletoe, stays under the mistletoe.”

Each year I hang my mistletoe with the distant hope that perhaps, just maybe, there might be a slim chance that Mr. Wonderful will knock on my door while I’m tapping at the keyboard, and sweep me off my slipper covered feet.

I know, it’s crazy, but I’m absolutely convinced it could happen. Maybe I’d have to get asked out on a date first, but it could happen.

That’s the thing about love and lust and matter of the heart isn’t it? We hope, we dream, and we all want to be someone’s special someone.

Tonight I just about gave up all hope when I read a Yahoo news clip;  Charles Manson was issued a marriage license, and the plan is to get hitched to some young twenty-something?

In my head I exclaimed, “Hellooooo? WTF?!”, and ” Are you freaking kidding me?!”

But then I thought about it, and I decided that there is still hope for me.  After all, I’m just an amateur nut-bag compared to Manson. My eccentricities and extended single status are nothing compared with Manson’s brand of wacko.  My mistletoe is waiting…

Dear Santa, Please send me someone to love….

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Catching a Hottie Under the Mistletoe

norma shearer mistletoe
norma shearer mistletoe (Photo credit: carbonated)

Last night, while out and about flitting around like the great-white-northern social butterfly that I am, I had cause to think about solutions for single men this season.

My wonderful friends who find themselves single this year are mostly in their 40’s, happily and sometimes ‘meh‘ily employed, and wishing to spend their quality time with a wonderful woman.

“It’s hard to meet women”, I hear, “It’s too much effort,”, they say.

Hmph. That’s what women say too.

So I guess this post is for men and women who, like a casual outdoorsman, has taken their fishing pole out to the local river on a lazy weekend,  think that if they snag something worth keeping, they’ll make the effort to land it and take it home for dinner.

I hate to break it to you folks, you still have to make an effort to leave the house and bait your pole ready. Ah-hem….

My mumster always says to get yourself together and put on your best face, because you never know who’ll you’ll meet out for your coffee and paper, or a wander through the shops.

For single folks who may be looking for  someone of the opposite sex to snuggle up with during the holidays and beyond, I suggest following my mumster’s advice.

I also suggest a little dash of fabulousness sprinkled on a big plate of coming our of your shell. Here’s the list…

1) Invited out for the evening? Simply say, ‘Yes.’

2)Getting ready for an afternoon, evening, or even breakfast get-together? Stoke your holiday spirit, and allow yourself to get excited about it. Yah, that’s right, pull your single-sorry-socks up and be brave enough to lose your cool. There is nothing more of a turn off than someone who mistakes being aloof for being mysterious. We’re all too old to bother peeling away that many layers sweetie. Give it a rest.

3) Do whatever you need to do to boost your confidence. For ladies it can be as simple as a new shade of lipstick, or knowing a quick joke or two. For the gentlemen out there, spritz on some new cologne, or stuff a sock in your pants if necessary.

4) Practice gratitude. No one wants to hear about your problems. We all have them. Be joyful, be curious, be open to meeting someone new and having some fun. Dance, sing, tell a story – something, anything.

5) Don’t let chivalry die. For  strong, independent women, that means allowing a man to get the door for you, even if you have to stop walking. For guys, that means kicking it up a notch and remembering that romance is as classic as diamonds and making out on a shag rug by the fire. Well….maybe not in the same league as shag, but you get the picture.

6) Try to abolish expectation. Too young? Too old? Too….not what you thought you’d fall for? Nonsense…give it a chance.

7) Accept the awkwardness, and don’t let one maroon-move give you an excuse to stop trying.

8) Expect others to be only as perfect as you are. In other words, reassess your standards, and give the other person a break.

9) Accept the help of friends. Accept their invitations to dinners with the friend they think might be of interest, accept their invitation to take over your on-line dating fiasco, accept their critique of your too-high-expectations.

10) Set goals and make a plan. In a rut staying in every night? Make it a priority to get out to one of your favourite neighbourhood haunts at least three times a week.  Emote genuine interest in others, and an openness to meet someone new.