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The Perfect Gift for Her

You can never find the perfect gift when you’re looking for it. Never.

That’s why I hate Christmas shopping so very much. I hate feeling like I have to buy something for someone.  I prefer to see something that makes me think of that someone special and snatch it up.

Alas, no one is perfect, not even me, and we’re smack dab in the middle of the busiest shopping season of the year. Yikers.

I’ve personally never been told that I’m hard to buy for, but I’ve heard the cry from my friends, their spouses, and the singles among us who are inspired to use the romantic leverage of this time of year to spring something wonderful on their true-love.

I don’t pretend to know the love of your life, but I can tell you this; women, unless you know them extremely well (and if you did, you likely wouldn’t need to read this) all enjoy similar things.

Never forget that just spending time with you is what makes  her truly happy.

If you feel bound to buy a gift, unless it’s gawd-awful or an engagement ring, with jewellery, you really can’t go wrong. White gold, yellow gold, whatever gold. Diamonds? Meh. That may not be the message you wish to send. How about sapphires, rubies or emeralds? And remember, the strength of the stone represents the strength of you love for her. If you’re not thinking of taking the relationship to the next level, do not buy jewellery.

unstoppable

 

 

Perfume. Know what she wears, or what she likes to wear, and splurge on her favourite scent. Most perfumeries offer sets at this time of year, and we love them. What could be better than travelling with a miniature vanity stocked with your favourite frangrance?

elie saab

 

 

If you’re just not really that serious, but you feel like you should buy her something, try alcohol. Chances are she knows you’re also not the one, and could use a little liquid therapy. Buy her something bubbly and delightful.

les etoiles

 

 

If she loves her spa time, give her a generous gift-certificate to her favourite escape. Always, always, always accompany this with something soft and snuggly like a teddy bear or a stuffed reindeer. Silly can be cute. A stark envelope cannot.

blitz.jpg

 

A weekend away. If you can both manage this one during the holiday season, I tip my hat to you. Giving of your time is often the most coveted and most difficult gift to give.  Make it romantic. Bring champers, roses, candles, and a be well rested so you can….well, you know…

room

 

Of course a beautiful bouquet at any time will let her know that you’re thinking of her…

peony

 

These are all terrific Christmas ideas, but what every woman really wants is just to spend time with her sweetie.

Stay tuned for Being Jolly on a Budget….’cause that’s how you’ll win and keep her heart.

HO-HO-HO!!!

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A Box of Chocolates for Christmas

chocolatsOne of my gal-pals told me that whenever someone gifted her a box of chocolates she felt insulted. Insulted that the gift-giver gave her a generic gift.

Hmm? I could see her point, but I also had my own feeling about the matter as well – surprise, surprise.

When was the last time you bought yourself a box of chocolates? Not a chocolate bar, or a chocolate snack of some sort, or a decadent dessert while you were out for a girls’ lunch. Just a box of chocolates?

I’m known as  being an ‘-aholic’ of all sorts; chocoholic, manoholic, wine0holic, you get the picture.  But despite loving chocolate, I can’t remember the last time I went out and bought myself a really nice box of chocolates.

I’ve discovered that as we get older, the things we really need are generally not things, or, if they are things, they are necessities or large-ticket items that we have to choose for ourselves.

This does not apply to romantic gift giving either. This must be pointed out for the man-dumb among us. In this case gents, send jewelry and plan and evening of very hot romance which ends naked under the glowing lights of the Christmas tree. Oh, also, because the Andshelaughs ladies are real, please  have breakfast planned.

So, if someone give you a box of chocolates this Christmas, don’t be a raging twatcycle. Remember that they didn’t have to give you damn thing, but they made the effort to give you a special treat, and really, what more could we ask for?

 

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Luxe Gifts For Women

You know how I feel about over-spending, over-shopping, and basically being taken, hook, line and sinker by the flashy adverts extolling excess, gluttony, and greed. If you don’t, I’ll summarize; It’s hogwash.

However, should you require a very special gift for the Princess in your life, and don’t know where to begin, let me help you.

If you’re going to go overboard, do it whole-heartedly with abandon.

You may also require a bank loan, 12 shots of Christmasy tequila, or, perhaps a new lady-love with lower expectations. But we don’t judge here do we ladies? No. We just dole out advice, and then sit back with your dainty crystal-wear filled with some wonderful southern comfort.

So, for those looking for that je ne sais quoi over-the-top-glitz-gift, I offer up a list of indulgent gifts and experiences.

Luxe Gifts for Your Christmas Princess

1) A sparkly bangle. Think of it as a 50 Shades reminder of your hold on her.

14 Carat Gold, Twisted Diamond Bangle
14 Carat Gold, Twisted Diamond Bangle

2) How about a nice little weekend property in the Cayman Islands. Just connect with one of the locals and voila – she’s putty in your sandy hands.

Nothing says, "I love you", like a few cool million.
Nothing says, “I love you”, like a few cool million.

3) Ok, let’s not get carried away. How about a simple handbag?

Leiber Precious Rose Bag - $92,000  This unique little gem boasts,  1,016 diamonds(42.56 carats), 1,169 pink sapphires and 800 tourmalines. LIke your lady-love, there is only one of these to be had.
Leiber Precious Rose Bag – $92,000
This unique little gem boasts, 1,016 diamonds(42.56 carats), 1,169 pink sapphires and 800 tourmalines. LIke your lady-love, there is only one of these to be had.

4) How about Maison Victor’s diamond ring-ed dildo. Ideal for the couple who travel independently. Nothing says I love you like 8 inches of white gold and diamonds.

For just over $55,000, it's the gift that just keeps on giving...
For just over $55,000, it’s the gift that just keeps on giving…

5) One of my favourite romantic gifts is a case of something bubbly, labeled with dates and events during which you will pop the cork and enjoy a bottle of something cool and refreshing with your lady-love. Think events like; First Snow Storm , Valentine’s Day, Evening before our Winter Get-Away…..

For the woman who expects the best, why not try a moderately priced bottle of Dom Perignon, which you can order through our local Ontario Vintages?

I was an arts major, but even I know that 12x$222.95 = getting lucky for sure!
I was an arts major, but even I know that 12x$222.95 = getting lucky for sure!

6) For Princess you are just beginning to court, how about a nice, unassuming box of chocolates? How about some Knipschildt truffles? Recognized as the most expensive chocolate in the world….half a dozen should do it! Add a bottle of Dom, and you’ve provided a little snackie-poo for the princess’s next bath.

Delicious!
Delicious!

 

7) If you’re ready for a commitment, why not pop the question and offer you hand in matrimonial bliss, along with this humble symbol of your undying adoration from Tiffany?

The answer will be yes, yes, YES!!!
The answer will be yes, yes, YES!!!

 

 

8) If your Princess is a bit of an intellectual like myself (I prefer being called, “Duchess”, as Princess is too naïve for me), how about a good book? Perhaps one of two copies of  Ptolemy’s 1477 Cosmography? Don’t ask me how, where or if this is available, but you’re a man right? There’s nothing like overcoming a challenge to impress your little lady. Go for it cowboy.

Knowledge - Priceless!
Knowledge – Priceless!

 

9) If you can afford these gifts, your Princess’s number one complaint will be that you don’t get to spend enough time together. So, why not buy her the gift of companionship. After all those who say that money can’t buy happiness, just don’t know where to shop darling!

Search your local directory for escort services near you. She may be offended at first, but trust me, after spending a few days with her new BFF, she’ll be living in paradise. Besides that, what will she do if she has to change the batteries in her new toy – I’m sure this gentleman could help while you’re out-of-town.

hohoho

 

10) How about a little getaway to Nygard Cay to  refresh and rejuvenate the princess. If you can’t go, I’m sure you can find an escort to keep her company and see to it that her needs are met.

nygard cay

 

 

 

 

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Gift Guide for Teenage Boys

Cufflinks I: Men Prefer SWANK
Cufflinks I: Men Prefer SWANK (Photo credit: jessica @ flickr)

As the mother of a boy, I have always been disappointed by the lack of gift ideas for them. Unless they’re connected to the computer or video games, there seems to be a black hole of gift guides for the young gentlemen in your life.

So, as a gift to you this Christmas, I offer up a selection of possible gifts for teenage boys.

Gift Giving Guide for Teenage Boys

1) High quality finery such as a set of cuff links, a silk tie, a dress shirt, and dapper dress socks

2) A great set of headphones for their iPod/iPhone

3) A selection of classic rock.

4) Toiletries that will make him feel like the great gentleman he’s developing into being; shaving soap, shaving brush, cologne, nail trimming set

5) A classic book such as Hemingway’s ‘The Old Man & The Sea’

6) The gift of time; take him to a museum, gallery, dinner or concert

7) Sports Equipment

8) Fly fishing lessons

9) Bedroom makeover, including new bedding, new art, and new lighting

10) Again, the gift of time – instead of a gift card, take him for lunch, dinner, brunch, and to his favourite shop where he can choose an item of clothing of his choice.

Wishing everyone a joyful Christmas surrounded by people you love!