For those of you interested in whether or not I slapped my neighbour across the face with a two day old rabbit carcass, I offer you an update.
This morning, as I padded around my tiny patio and sipped a hot cup of tea, speculating about where I would possibly start my new vegetable garden project, I stumbled on something small and furry.
My heart almost broke. It was the tail of my little rabbit friend. So small and soft, and a reminder of how that little body was so disrespected. Currently the lifeless body is out in my green bin. It’s at the side of the road waiting for the trash collector tomorrow. I don’t even know if that’s where it goes, but based on my a-hole neighbour heaving it into my garden, I think that’s the best place for it.
Staring down at that little puff ball of fur, my first instinct was to mail it to the sonuvabitch next door. My second thought was that I’d like to pin it to his ass. And then I sat down on the step, and let my heart break a little bit.
I set down my tea, and found my garden trowel. I dug a neat little hole among the tiny purple flowers that form a soft carpet in the shade of the lilac bush, and gently placed the little tail in the hole. Like a good funeral director, I covered up the spot with a small rock to mark the tiny grave. And then, as I always do when I bury someone, I say a little prayer in my head.
Sitting back down on the step, I looked at the little stone among the short, wild flowers. It’s one of my favourite haunts in the garden; wild and lush and full of every bit of life.
I thought about how much energy the prick next door deserves, and how much of my energy I’m going to allow to be drained. I thought about what good it would do or not do to torment him. Such a good little buddhist. Such a lovely weight off my shoulders.
Immediately after realizing that I’m not so bad at analyzing my own thoughts, I turned my attention back to the tasks at hand; prepping the tomato beds, transplanting my jasmine, finally getting my dahlias in the ground, building obelisks for my scarlet runner beans…
And then, I turned up the little speaker that keeps me humming while I work. I turned it up full blast and played my favourite album ever; Bat Out of Hell. I put it as close to his open living room window as the fencing would allow, and I dreamed of tossing fish heads over the fence. We have a raccoon problem that I’d like to share with him. I think that making the rabbit-bastard’s life more interesting he may be encouraged to mind his own fucking business.
Note to self: look up rabbit totems, add fish to the weekly shopping list