Andshelaughs · Buddhism · Christmas · Comedy · Creative Writing · Creativity · Entertainment · Faith · Friday · Girl Stuff · Health · Humor · Humour · Inspiration · Life · Living · Meaning of Life · Men's Issues · Motivation · Music · Opinion · Perspective · Relationships · Sexuality · Singles · Spirituality · Uncategorized · Women's Issues · Working Women · Writing

Christmas Is For Firemen

firemanhotDear Santa,

Andshelaughs would like a fireman for Christmas…

Yah, I hope I find a buff-eager fireman under my tree this year, but what can I say, I’m a dreamer.

Last night I said good-bye to some very dear friends, and big, ole’ tough me cried myself to sleep. I felt so homesick for them, I just rolled out of bed now. The laundry can wait.  I’m busy moping.

So, I finally get out of bed this morning, pour a good dose of Jimmy Buffet into the speakers and turn the coffee pot on, all the while dressed in a t-shirt and a bracelet. Don’t try to picture it, you’ll hurt your eyes.

My hair is long now because I’m trying to grow it long enough to pull back in a practical something or other while on the sailboat this winter. That means instead of being short and wild, it’s long and wild.  What remains of my mascara after scrubbing my face last night has made itself more comfortable in the hollows of the bags of my eyes, and somehow I’ve managed one sock.

It’s morning. My daily nemesis. Describing me as, ‘Not a morning person’ is like saying the Dali Lama is sorta spiritual. I suck at mornings. More importantly, I’m ok with it.

I’ve turned on the coffee pot, yawned, and have a copy of the New Yorker in my hand featuring a story about bull-riding. I love bull-riding. And boxing. Those sports fascinate me. So, Ms. bawling mess homesick for her friends is in the kitchen looking, well, homeless, and reading about bull-riding when the fire alarm goes off. Not my smoke alarm, the one wired into the 12 units of homes that I live in.

Immediately, I shriek, “Oh Golly!”. Ok, I do not shriek, “Oh Golly”, but if I’m ever going to be ‘Freshly Pressed’ on WordPress I have to stop using the f-word. So, use your imagination. I say, “Oh…..k!”

I don’t panic because first of all, it’s before noon and I just don’t panic before noon. That’s way too much effort. I already know what’s happening. It’s fire alarm testing day.

Whenever I am home on a Friday it’s freaking-fire-alarm-testing day. I know that within moments, my Christmas wish is going to be almost true. There will be firemen in my house.

You have never seen a chubby middle-aged blonde woman move so quickly!

…and that’s how it happened Santa, honestly.

Advertisements
Andshelaughs · Buddhism · Catholosim · Christianity · Christmas · Church · Creative Writing · Creativity · Education · Entertaining · Entertainment · Faith · Girl Stuff · Health · Humor · Uncategorized

Is There A Hole In Christmas?

IMG_3679“They say that anger is just love disappointed”….

So went the lyrics of the Eagles song I had cranked as I poured my first coffee this morning.

After changing plans due to weather I crawled back under my covers and settled in between my mass of duvet and fluffy pillows. I starred out at my tiny piece of the snow-covered urban wilderness.

Thursday already,” I thought to myself with a sigh. My week off is almost over. I decided I’d lay in just a while longer and watch the white tree boughs brighten as the sun rose.  Willie Nelson was already stretched out in his watch position, letting me know that all was right outside the window and that I was safe from threat of intruders. “Good old Willie Nelson,” I smiled, and let my eyes close.

Our little corner of the world is a happy place. Sure, there’s the stress and demands of every day living, but I’ve been really good at keeping any nonsense at bay, and it’s something that I’m glad that I did.

As I indulged in the soft warmth of my bed, I listened to those song lyrics and thought about anger, disappointment, love and wisdom. Discernment as you know my darlings, has been front and center for me and has pushed my girl-brain into overdrive.

Anger, for a woman is something that’s not ok. We’re supposed to be gentle, smile, and be mothering. So, quite often an angry woman is not seen as feminine at all, but an abomination of all that is sugar, spice and everything nice.

Every time I’ve been angry, it’s been because I’ve been hurt, felt rejected, or disappointed in love. Not necessarily glass-slipper love, but love in general; friendship, romance or collegial respect.

So what does this have to do with Christmas? Well, sometimes holidays get muddled up in what we think should be happening, who we think we should be spending time with, and giving or receiving the gifts that should be under the tree. It’s when those should-be’s don’t happen we feel hurt and angry, and that is the hole that we put into the season of Christmas.

Yah, you read that right – you put it there. I put it there. We put it there. Sometimes we do such a good job of it, it should come wrapped in shiny paper and a beautiful bow so that we’re forced to open it and stare our disappointment down. We’d all open a beautiful package with grand expectations (mine would be a tiny blue Tiffany box by the way), and then we’d be wounded when it was empty. Empty! Empty? Yes – empty. Odd  isn’t it? It would be empty. Because it’s not real. Because it’s a figment of our fucked-up imaginations and social subconscience.

Christmas is a season of giving, a season of light, a season of slumber and contemplation. I wrote about waiting, hope, endings and beginnings last year as the season of Advent started.  Light and giving sound great right? Well, slumber and contemplation can be cozy, but they can be uncomfortable too. But I’m convinced that it’s in those moments of discomfort that we choose to grow or let the expectations we never grew out of turn us into some kind of jerk.

Drop the should if you can. Just let them go. Enjoy what you truly enjoy, embrace the friendships that keep you sane, and toast the things that your wise discernment has help you cast aside. If you haven’t begun to think about the wisdom of discernment, maybe contemplation can be your gift to yourself this Christmas.

Andshelaughs · Christmas · Comedy · Creativity · Entertaining · Entertainment · Faith · Fashion · Feminism · Girl Stuff · Health · Humor · Humour · Inspiration · Lean In · Life · Living · Meaning of Life · Men's Issues · Motivation · Music · Opinion · Perspective · Philosophy · Professional Women · Prom · Relationships · Sexuality · Singles · Spirituality · Travel · Uncategorized · Weddings · Women's Issues · Working Women · Writing

The Holiday Hustle

santahustleSometimes you just gotta dance. I mean get out there, take off your wrap, your jacket, your inhibitions, and just shake what mamma gave you!

I’m not talking about the stiff, elbows up, I-give-you-a-seven-out-of-ten style of dance. No, I’m talking about freestyle baby. The kind that you do when no one’s home and you’re dusting the Dalton’s.

There are any number of holiday parties to attend, and a zillion reasons to be quiet, go home early, or feel inadequate. Trust me darlings, we’ve all felt that way, and when we feel that way, we wither like a two day old lily out of water. It’s the antithesis of fresh and glowing. Wilted and sad are never in style darlings. Never.

Not that hibernating and living in your jammies with leg stubble and four-day unwashed hair doesn’t have it’s place in spiritual growth, but come on! A bit of frivolous silliness is just what the doctor ordered to combat our winter blahs.

So, last night, I did just that with my mumster. We met a few new people, took some silly photos, and danced until we had to mop ourselves off the floor and go home. Fun, friendship, shaking off the burden of should-be’s; that’s what a party is about, not sitting primly at a table and counting the seconds until you can make your escape.

During my forty or so trips around the sun, I’ve learned that without a doubt, time passes whether you’re enjoying yourself or not. It’s your choice; suffer through the holidays, or do the hustle!

 

Andshelaughs · Creative Writing · Creativity · Education · Entertainment · Girl Stuff · Health · Inspiration · Lean In · Life · Living · Meaning of Life · Men's Issues · Motivation · Opinion · Perspective · Professional Women · Relationships · Singles · Spirituality · Uncategorized · Working Women · Writing

It’s Saturday – Use it Wisely

live a life of love
Just in case your day isn’t so glorious, I suggest popping a flask of bourbon in your handbag darling. You know, in case of emergency…

It’s one of those very rare mornings when I don’t need to set an alarm.

Other than a bit of tidying and shopping to prepare for my birthday night with the girls, I have a glorious day to myself.

Should I bite the bullet and really launch my novel on WattPad, or dig into novel 2 and 3 I have rambling around in my notebook, brain and WattPad scribblings?

What a delicious decision to have to make.

Whatever you choose to do today, enjoy it. Savour each moment, and spend your time with the people who appreciate your beautiful self.

 

 

Andshelaughs · Economics · Education · Entertainment · Life · Living · Memes · Opinion · Perspective · Politics · Travel · Uncategorized · Writing

Oh Bother

haveaballoonWinnie the Pooh – I don’t want to take up too much of your time with this, but it’s just too silly to let rest…yet.

The councillors in Tuszyn, Poland  have spent time debating Pooh’s lack of pants and therefore,  the obvious abomination it would be to have Winnie the Pooh be the town’s playground mascot. Tuszyn’s debate has placed the small town front and center on the world stage for their 15 minutes of fame.

My immediate reaction was, ” Seriously? We’re wasting time on our national news talking about Pooh Bear’s dungarees”? Too tired to be outraged, instead of tweeting about it, I laughed. Chuckled, smiled even.

News is such a joke anyway, why not report on Pooh’s pants? If you’re telling us about Pooh’s pants, what aren’t you telling us?

Having started upon the long and winding road of my career as a newspaper reporter, I have an insider’s appreciation of the passive aggressive as well as blatant gagging of the idealized journalistic objective reality of writing for money.

It is no secret that reading the Saturday paper at my favourite coffee shop constitutes an ideal weekend morning. What you may not understand is that I read the paper as a clue to what isn’t being reported, written about, recorded or otherwise documented in popular media.

So I thank you CBC for not being afraid to report on something seemingly insignificant.

From what are you trying so hard to steal our attention?

 

 

 

 

Creative Writing · Education · Entertainment · Food · Girl Stuff · Health · Humor · Humour · Life · Men's Issues · Music · Poetry · Politics · Relationships · Sexuality · Singles · Spirituality · Uncategorized · Women's Issues · Writing

Trying Too Hard

trying too hardThe world seems to be trying too hard.

Just this morning the ticker-tape news on CBC news included these little gems; Bear bites boy off 9-year-old boy in Chinese Zoo, 350 Runners finish windy 20km race in Newfoundland, 14 people arrested after New England Pumpkinfest turns ugly, South, North Korea exchange gunfire across border.

Other than being vaguely entertaining, it really wasn’t news. North and South Korea exchanging occasional fire across the border? Pul-eazah, deliver some real news.  For instance, perhaps give a little more screen time to this Ebola vaccine,  the pr0-democracy demonstrations in Hong-Kong, or perhaps even the on-going sale of Canada’s democratic principles and social humanitarianism to China itself.

On a much less serious note, but serious to anyone (like myself ) who considers art, of any kind, the expression of the human spirit, consider Neil Diamond’s appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. The only feeling I had for old Neil was pity.

What old Neil Diamond needs is to be himself, not a duded out old songbird trying for one more. Thank you for your classics Mr Diamond. Even Jimmy Fallon, whom I adore as a truly talented man had to force amusement during the most entertaining part of the interview;

Neil’s performance was a swinging tribute to the 70’s, a decade fashion needs to leave  behind.  Granted, Mr. Diamond may be considered an attractive older man, with  skeletal legs holding up his leather jacket and huge, gaunt eyeballs, I just wanted to go on stage, gently take the microphone from his hand, and pat him on the back as I escorted him to a comfy chair and a plate of biscuits.

Even dear old Leonard Cohen’s last album was nothing to write home about. Sorry Leonard, you know I love you, but your persona as the ever-curious lover was awesome. Save the singing of your new poems, and let us instead hear you recite your poetry as poetry, not lyrics. You are a literary icon, not a playboy. We love you, but make room on the stage and pocketbooks of music lovers for fresh, new talent.

Take Hozier for instance;

 

Give me something unique, sincere, and weird, but don’t give me mimicry of the truly great originals.

The recent global slap to U2’s ego was heard around the world when Apple invaded our privacy and assumed everyone wants the same type of art imposed on our unassuming playlists.

Classics are classics because they gave a stellar performance during their five-minutes of fame on the world’s stage. Let them remain classics.

Julia Child cannot be mimicked, nor can Bob Dylan or Don Cherry. They became the royalty of their own weirdness, and we celebrated them for it.

Enough of the knock-off chefs with over done hair and glasses trying to imitate the sincerity of the proud, Michelin-starred-chefs-of-the-past .

Enough of the Nicki Minaj’s dancing around to someone else’s hit. Sweetie, we lived through Madonna’s coffee table book, your bare ass isn’t anything new.

Let us all have the courage and grace to flow from year to year being our own, unique, selves, without trying too hard to be someone, or something we’re not. That includes doing real work, reporting authentic news, and promoting fresh talent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creative Writing · Education · Entertainment · Girl Stuff · Humor · Humour · Life · Men's Issues · Music · Poetry · Politics · Relationships · Sexuality · Singles · Uncategorized · Women's Issues · Writing

Tune In to Hear the Method of Her Madness

radioI have many questions sent via the comments button on this blog.

Some are kudos, some are criticism, and some are dear women and men asking for the fabulous advice I tend to dish out here in my own cozy corner of cyperspace.

Tune in Tuesday October 22 between 10pm and 11pm, to CIUT 89.5fm HOWL Radio to hear my second interview with host Nik Beat.

Call in, comment, have your questions forwarded to me….