Last night we tried desperately to get some good flame action going with new firewood. What we realized was that the wood had not been cared for in a way that was conducive to the warm glow that we were hoping for.
Lately I’ve had a few conversations with people about their relationships. As always, my sage stance is that any relationship that is neglected will die; like wet firewood, an unwatered flower or like a lemon left to wither in the back of the fridge.
Human beings are wired for connection. Yet, in our twisted culture, we are socialized to fear intimacy. Partnership involves emotional risk and vulnerability. After all, if you can’t be vulnerable with your lover, the one person you ought to trust to be naked with body and soul, well, you likely don’t have a very solid connection. Apathy isn’t sexy. Apathy is your old maiden aunt’s dentures and wig-on-the-nightstand-every-night.
Fabulous women like you and I darling are certainly brave enough to be vulnerable and to ask for the intimacy that we need. We are not needy enough to stay if our basic needs are neglected and left to, (shall I say?) wilt. Six months ago I went out on a limb and asked for what I needed. Guess what has happened since? Keep guessing…
If your ‘parnter’ parts leaving you with all of the times that they’re busy and can’t connect, see it for the big, fat, red flag that it is. And then go do whatever the heck it is that you want to do. Do not let someone’s lack of passion inspire insecurity or any other shitty feeling. At this age, we’ve all been through too much to waste time living in the land of ambivalence, apathy and pretentious crappola.
Start saying no to waiting around and yes to not giving a damn.
Now go spark up that fire people, whether it be your own innate wildness, or together with your true love. Some say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but that’s a lazy excuse; out of sight, out of mind sweetcakes. Carry on!