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Holiday Flirting Season Kick-Off

redDear Gal-Pals,

Let it be known that I still have that Irish Fire I was known for in my youth.

Although there are men who never learn their lesson, I still believe there are good, fun, and very wonderful men out there, regardless of how poor my judgement, my grand naiveté, or my bubbly fuelled fairytale fantasies.

Ok, maybe the good ones are scarce, but the fun ones are a’plenty, and that’s all a girl really needs.

Let the games begin, and may the best,( very best ) man win…

Giddy-up and happy holidays!

 

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Ten Traits Your Autumn Man Should Have

Autumn Stroll
Autumn Stroll (Photo credit: MTSOfan)

It is a proven fact that men and women start to settle down into warm, cozy relationships as the weather cools off. Known as cuffing season to the more cynical, autumn is also the time for settling down and getting your snuggle on with your true love.

Often, my darling gal-pals and I discuss the wonders and horrors of our manscapades. The things we love, and love-not-so-much about our deliciously delightful menfolk.

For all of you ladies out there deciding upon which man to snug in with this winter, which man you will share romantic cocktail hours with fireside, which man next to whom you will wake up, snuggle closer too, and smile because you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, I have prepared a list of qualities you should value more highly than looks or a charming smile.

1) You know he’s crazy about you. That means that he KNOWS how to make you feel comfortable and confident. There is no flibberty-jibber stuttering about how inept he is at communicating. Bad communicators are simply; A waste. Of. Time. Move along.

2) He is thoughtful and considerate of your time. In other words, he’s not chronically late. Furthermore, he is a decisive ‘date maker’ without you having to do all of the work.

3) If he has ever had an obligatory occasion to give a wonderful gal like you a gift, it was a thoughtful gift. In other words, it’s not something he knows you don’t prefer, and just bought it because it was an on-line sale and easier than going out to do the work of thoughtful gifting.

4) His  physical amorous efforts  make your nether regions become an edge-of-your-seat-fully-entertained-standing-ovation audience which is left both exhausted and eager for more. Now, keep in mind, the other nine tips listed here must also be applicable as well, because let’s face it ladies, we all like to entertain men who momentarily make us strap on our bed-spurs and shout, “Giddy-Up!”, but they’re not the kind we need to keep for very long.

5) He takes care of you.  Gives you his jacket. Brings breakfast in bed. Pours your cocktail for happy hour when you arrive home from work. Does the driving.  Covers you up when you fall asleep reading…..you get the picture.

6) He makes you laugh. Belly laugh. Until you snort and pee your pants.

7) He is baggage free. No partial fresh separations, no incomplete divorces. In other words, no whiny immature excuses about his inability to have adult relationships with healthy boundaries. Trust me, B.O.B is better.

8) He thinks your quirks are cute. I once had a beau, a best friend and lover who thought my Irish temper was adorable. God rest his soul my sweet little plums.

9) No matter what, he’s there for you, and no matter what he wants you there for him.

10) Way deep down in your soul, you know, you just know, that if you could be anywhere in the world, it would be wrapped up in his arms.

Wishing you all the best in love and luck as summer wraps up her rodeo and leaves town. Stay fabulous my darlings, and don’t settle for a man who makes you feel anything less.

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A Cynical Cuffing Season

Chain-linked handcuffs type KCH701 from Kyung ...
Image via Wikipedia
Tonight I wanted to give someone a cuff. A good, hard one, but I opened a bottle of luscious red instead. After all, I am a pacifist.
 
I read a headline this morning about “Cuffing Season”, accompanied by a photo of handcuffs with a big, blood-red heart in the middle. I could hardly wait to hear about something that looked like it was gonna be sexy-like, and teased my memory back to one particularly creative lover. Maybe – just maybe this old girl was going to learn a new trick or two.
 
I settled in after my run and was quickly snapped back to reality. As I kept reading, my spidey sense told me that this wasn’t going to be so sexy after all,  and I began to learn about “cuffing season”. You see, I grew up in a village smack dab in the middle of nowhere. I have heard of “hunting season”, and cuffing season isn’t so different, minus the camouflage, doe urine and pick-up trucks. The reality of cuffing season is not nearly as appealing as the images the photo of the handcuffs conjured up.
 
According to www.urbandctionary.com  cuffing Season is; “the time of year in which more people are “talking” and start going out”. Cuffing? Really? That’s it?  If you’re not easily offended, I recommend looking up cuffin, cuffing and cuffing the carrot on www.urbandictionary.com I had a great laugh reading this.
 
Cuffing season you say? It made me think about being cuffed. Cuffed as in the urban dictionary definition. Otherwise I’d be in like a dirty shirt. But cuffing? Really? Is that what we, the urban population really think of being in a relationship? That it’s rough like being cuffed? That we only need a mate to keep warm during the cold months, and buy us presents at Christmas and accompany us to Thanksgiving dinners? 
 
I’m so good at doing the solo, only single-chick in the room thing, that I’m ok with not being “cuffed” to some dude just so I have a date. I’d rather not be cuffed and responsible for dragging around a man who (let’s consider all of the circumstances here) is just going through the motions in an effort to get laid, I won’t be bringing around again so-why-bother-with-the-introductions, or is purely man-circus entertainment pour moi.  Cuffing after all can only be defined if it’s witnessed.  Getting-laiders and back-up booty calls do not count. You remane nameless and faceless except for the girl talk names we give you like, “Remote Control Boy”, “The Old Guy”, “Mr. LongTongueSilver”, etc. Myself and  my gal-pals don’t want these guys hanging around. Their job is to be on call.
 
Now, being “cuffed” to someone you’re head over heels with? What say you to that  ever intelligent readers? Can we really call it being cuffed when it’s a mutual cuffing?
 
Personally, I’ve had more than my fair share of duds on the dating scene, but it hasn’t been all for naught. I’ve been practicing for the real thing. We ladies know when a man means business, and  not just flowers, dates and romantic texts in order to get the carrot cuffed once in a while. We can smell sincerity like a buck smells doe urine.
 
We single-gals are  happy biding our time with our black books until our (perhaps somewhat tarnished) knights with white cuffs show up and toss the idea of “cuffing” out the window.
 
Perhaps, in the mean time we’ll spruce up our lingerie drawers, and summon the ghosts of creative lovers past. Cuffing season my ass.