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Why Your Terrible Breakfast Offends Me

"Let them eat cake." ~Marie Antoinette before the French Revolution~
“Let them eat cake.”
~Marie Antoinette before the French Revolution~

Not you, dish-rag of a girl behind the counter, nor you, 65ish waitress with the second-hand Target sweater and hair clip.

Nope, you two have my respect. You’ve earned it. Over and over, you’ve earned it. Day in, and day out, you’ve earned it.

Say what you like about what money can’t buy, it can buy a whole lot of peace of mind and privilege. That’s why it’s so coveted, and so hoarded by those who have it. If it was as worthless as all the popular memes want us to believe, people would be way, way, way more generous.

Why your terrible breakfast offends me is because YOU are likely a greedy-money-hording employer from hell. I’m guessing, but it’s an educated guess.

More than once favourite restaurants have changed hands, and I believe that one of my favourite breakfast spots, Artisano’s may have also changed ownership, or perhaps the management has just dumped the concept of customer service? I’m not sure. I am sure that I will not be going back, nor recommending it based on my own personal experience.

Any time front-line staff don’t produce excellent products or customer service, it’s likely because they don’t have the tools or energy to do it. After all, who likes to feel second-best after a long day at work? When I say tools, in this case I mean decent food to use and enough staff. When I say energy, I mean; the staff likely get treated and paid like hell.

Yah, a bad breakfast is a first world problem, but it’s the symptom of a larger problem. First of all, if you’re raising kids, and working, you likely have to stop somewhere to eat at least once or even twice a week, simply because the demands of work and the demands of trying to have your kids get ahead mean you have no time and a whole whack of  extra blood pressure. Why? Simply put; the Have’s now have more, and the Have-Nots have even less. And yet we’re not protesting in Canadian streets. This both intrigues and frightens me.

ewwwSo, when I get a chance to actually enjoy a meal, and I’m paying YOU for it, I’d like it to be well-cooked, fresh and hot. That’s the least someone should expect. Your burned bacon and rubbery-older-than-dirt sausage and cold as hell eggs suck. No salt or pepper. Clearly those are extravagances.  Besides, when the food is burned, old and cold, salt and pepper are really just putting lipstick on the pig aren’t they darlings?  And if you’re looking at the photo, that’s not pepper, it’s grit from the grill. Ewww.

Staff to bring you those things after you ask? Can’t be bothered. Breakfast is a completely indulgent meal to enjoy on a Sunday morning; with hot coffee and a newspaper, there are few things that make me happier.

I do not blame the all too commonly underpaid staff who are working their buns off to pay the bills. I do blame employers who skimp, penny-pinch and do so at the cost of the health of employees and customers.  This is why your terrible breakfast offends me. This is why I will not be back.

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Savoury Sunday; Breakfast in Bed

Ever thought of planning an impromptu sleepover with that long-time love interest sans jammies?

Romantic Bed & Breakfast
Romantic Bed & Breakfast (Photo credit: visit~fingerlakes)

If you’ve dreamed of a waking up next to your delicious lover AND a sumptuous breakfast to stoke the fires of sunrise amore, I hope this recipe helps.

You think your true-love may not be of the same mind? Have you ever thought about forwarding this little post to your lover to remind them that you are a precious gem worthy of great care?

Surprise your sweetie with breakfast in bed, complete with a mimosa based on Les Etoiles bubbly from one of my favourite home-grown Canadian wineries. It’s a bit pricey compared to my usual Segura Viudus, but doesn’t your first sleepover demand a little pomp and ceremony my sweet, dreamy, darling? Add a little orange juice and voila – good lovin’ in the morning guaranteed.

Almost.

You may also need to prepare your love a pot of joe, just in case they need some internal motivation.

My suggested breakfast in bed also gives you baking time to freshen up while it’s baking.

I present to you ladies and gentlemen – Abbracciando le Uova Pomodori (or, as we say in English, eggs in a tomato).

 

Ingredients

4 large beefsteak tomatoes (fresh from the garden is always best)

4 eggs

2 tbsp. fresh basil

1/4 cup parmesan cheese

4 thickly sliced pieces of fresh bread (sourdough and pumpernickel are both  yummy)

1 halved clove of garlic

2 tbsp. olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

Method

1) Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

2) Cut the top off of tomatoes and scoop out seeds and  pulp.

3) Place the tomatoes in a lightly oiled baking dish.

4) Break an egg into each tomato. Sprinkle each with salt and pepper. Add basil and sprinkle with the cheese.

5) Bake for about 20 minutes until the egg whites are set and the yolk is still runny (or longer if your true love prefers the yolks solid).

6) Rub the garlic clove over the bread and drizzle each piece with oil. Bake under broiler watching closely until the bread is golden.

7) Place each tomato on a slice of bread .

***You get luscious lover points for brining breakfast in bed.

You get triple points for arranging it on a tray with the mimosa, coffee/tea, the daily news and a beautiful flower.***

***

May I suggest an appropriate song for my delicate morning doves?