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The Holiday Hustle

santahustleSometimes you just gotta dance. I mean get out there, take off your wrap, your jacket, your inhibitions, and just shake what mamma gave you!

I’m not talking about the stiff, elbows up, I-give-you-a-seven-out-of-ten style of dance. No, I’m talking about freestyle baby. The kind that you do when no one’s home and you’re dusting the Dalton’s.

There are any number of holiday parties to attend, and a zillion reasons to be quiet, go home early, or feel inadequate. Trust me darlings, we’ve all felt that way, and when we feel that way, we wither like a two day old lily out of water. It’s the antithesis of fresh and glowing. Wilted and sad are never in style darlings. Never.

Not that hibernating and living in your jammies with leg stubble and four-day unwashed hair doesn’t have it’s place in spiritual growth, but come on! A bit of frivolous silliness is just what the doctor ordered to combat our winter blahs.

So, last night, I did just that with my mumster. We met a few new people, took some silly photos, and danced until we had to mop ourselves off the floor and go home. Fun, friendship, shaking off the burden of should-be’s; that’s what a party is about, not sitting primly at a table and counting the seconds until you can make your escape.

During my forty or so trips around the sun, I’ve learned that without a doubt, time passes whether you’re enjoying yourself or not. It’s your choice; suffer through the holidays, or do the hustle!


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When You Least Expect It


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Mistletoe & Manson

"What happens under the mistletoe, stays under the mistletoe."
“What happens under the mistletoe, stays under the mistletoe.”

Each year I hang my mistletoe with the distant hope that perhaps, just maybe, there might be a slim chance that Mr. Wonderful will knock on my door while I’m tapping at the keyboard, and sweep me off my slipper covered feet.

I know, it’s crazy, but I’m absolutely convinced it could happen. Maybe I’d have to get asked out on a date first, but it could happen.

That’s the thing about love and lust and matter of the heart isn’t it? We hope, we dream, and we all want to be someone’s special someone.

Tonight I just about gave up all hope when I read a Yahoo news clip;  Charles Manson was issued a marriage license, and the plan is to get hitched to some young twenty-something?

In my head I exclaimed, “Hellooooo? WTF?!”, and ” Are you freaking kidding me?!”

But then I thought about it, and I decided that there is still hope for me.  After all, I’m just an amateur nut-bag compared to Manson. My eccentricities and extended single status are nothing compared with Manson’s brand of wacko.  My mistletoe is waiting…

Dear Santa, Please send me someone to love….

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Why I Stopped Dating: Musical Interlude

While you wait for the second half…

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Wednesday Romance – Go For It!


send someone a love letter

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In the Shadow of Brilliance

lotuscandleIf you’re  Buddhist, you’re familiar with the idea of the ‘triple gem’; the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Don’t worry, you don’t have to look it up or know what that is to get the gist of the rest of this post.

Just know the following thoughts were inspired by a long, long, long career as a single woman, and as recently as this evening,  a glass of Beringer and a hot soak.

As I stretched out in the hot bath, candles flickering all around, and the dulcet tones of Sinead O’Connor singing her multi-layered lyrics trickling over the sound of the flow of water, I let my little ol’ girl brain wander to thoughts more pleasant than deadlines, finances, and how I was going to skillfully maneuver through a week with too few days to realistically accomplish all that I need to do.

In circumstances such as these, I tend to go back to my breath, to a quiet mind, and matters of the heart.

I’m good at a lot of things, I’m smart, and I get it. Women of a certain age are ok with not being the love of someone’s life, not being coveted, and merely providing a great way to spend an evening. We’re all human after all darlings, and even women need to satisfy their appetite for thick, juicy man-steaks every now and then.

But real love, and real relationships are much like any of the gems in the triple gem. They are multi-faceted, with an unlimited number of ways to delight and inspire.

It is my belief that great relationships make each partner sparkle. But when held to the light,  they also emphasize imperfections. If you can stand in the shadow of those flaws and still love someone, you’ve figured it all out. You pass go, collect two-hundred dollars and get a big, fat, wet snog, followed by the questionable joy of sleeping with someone who snores. Be careful what you wish for darlings.

My line of work and my own personal experience has taught me that it is in  darkness that the rarest of beauty is found.  Depth of wisdom often comes at the cost of darkness, the unknown, and having a willingness to explore and be curious with one another.

Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.

This kind of relationship is the real gem folks; one where you can be tender and loving, silly and playful and sensual enough to make satan blush.

If you bring the elements of the triple gem into relationship with you, and are courageous enough to let them guide you, you’re on the right path.

What you need to ask yourself is how willing are you to stand in the shadow cast by the brilliance of your sweetheart? It takes courage in this crazy world, and a whole lotta love.