For ‘Type A’ personalities, anxiety is like being on alien-strength caffeine pills. My mind zips around like an Italian in a German sports car, making random stops and leaving a wake of unfinished business.
Believe you me, I don’t need someone pointing it out to me, I know. I live it darling, Anxiety and I are old friends. We relate intimately on a profanity-using-first-name basis.
The sad part is, it annoys the crap out of my loved ones. My constant; are you sure? Are you double sure? Are you triple super sure?, not only annoys the shit out of me, but I’m sure it makes them want to want to shove a gin and tonic down my throat, complete with an entire lime wedged at the opening of my trachea for good measure.
I think this is genetic, stemming from my maternal side. My granny used to ask you if you wanted something umpteen times, and when she finally heard the last no she could handle (being a giver can be so unsatisfying), she would respond by saying, “Well, suffer then!”. I think that was the Methodist in her. Thank the good lord that’s not genetic.
When I get really anxious, and really aware of it, my twisted imagination kicks in, I fumble in the fog of my mind back to my meditation practice, and grasp at any cute little inspirational saying just to keep my thoughts from turning into a stomach-churning carnival ride from hell.
Today I decided to take stock of all of the things I’m grateful for, besides the biggies (my kiddo, my partner, my friends). I decided to be grateful for little things and to list them so that maybe it would help someone in the blogosphere remember to be grateful for little things to.
I’m grateful for;
- The gentleman at the fitness centre who was gracious enough to obey my panting request to turn on the air conditioning.
- That a book I wanted was actually on the shelf at the library when I went in.
- Ria Mae for an awesome song to distract my whirling thoughts as I drove back to the office from a meeting.
- That I only owed $2.35 for cancelling a gym membership that I never use…and that I finally remembered to cancel it.
- Remembering to put barrettes in my bag so that I could tame my humidity-loving-ringlets when I arrived at the office.
- Crazytown’s Lemonface for dragging my chubby buns through the last five minutes of my run.
- Ok, I gotta go for the big ones; my partner my cousin and my besties L and the Amazing C for taking time to talk when they’ve got a plate full of life themselves.
- My blender and protein powder for being an easy dinner when I was feeling too meh, to cook for lonely little ole’ me.
- Letters to write to people I care about.
- The scent of my true love’s pillow.
Wishing you peace in your mind and in your heart.