I’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately.
Which means something long-buried is coming to the surface. And that my darlings, means there’s a lot of psychological and spiritual work in my future.
Don’t worry. I have a pretty good idea what it’s all about. I’ve been ‘Team Jung’ for over 20 years now, and it seems to be working.
I pay attention to whether the water was murky or clear, churning or calm, the colours, the language, whether or not I could dial the number or sound came out of my mouth when I tried to scream. You see, in dreams it matters, because we like to gloss over these things in real life.
Nightmares have always been a sign that something is off. Not quite right. In the past, they have signaled betrayal, inspired me to pay attention to my intuition, and often times, to make significant changes in my life. Often (for me) nightmares are premonition. You know, a little postcard before the main event. Sometimes they are my intuition tired of knocking and now shouting at me to pay attention to what isn’t being said. I think that’s the case this morning.
I woke at precisely 6:18am, stomach churning and teary eyed. It was a hell of a dream, with conversations and people in my life who aren’t exactly trustworthy or worthy to be invading my head while I’m trying to get my beauty sleep.
Secret keeping has been a common theme in the lives of some people very dear to me lately. Lies of omission are still lies. Being starved for self-care is a terrible form of self-neglect. Telling yourself something is ok when it’s not causes nightmares. Betrayal comes in many forms often defended by the betrayer.
During a conversation with one of my best friends, I said that people who have never experienced great suffering, don’t know how to care for those who are suffering. Those who have never been betrayed are ignorant of the damage they do.
I’m wise enough to know our wee little human brains love living in black and white. I’m also experienced enough to know that we live in the vast, grey area that constitutes the majority of our mental and emotional landscapes. I am also a woman who believes in the superior value of trusting one’s instincts over trying to rationalize everything.
Just because we have learned to value logic over emotion, doesn’t mean they are equally important when it comes to their contribution to personal and global wisdom. We have been duped into thinking logic is king.
Nightmares remind us that our souls are alive and that we must shine light into the shadow side of our selves in order to experience the wonder of life. Without the dark emotions, we cannot celebrate the light and without the light, we cannot fully examine and understand the dark.
My nightmares are telling me to pay attention to what I know to be true. To demand that I have the quality of relationships at work, home and in love that I desire.
Sometimes before I go to sleep at night, I pray for a good dream. Good as in one that will let my subconscious unravel and teach me what I need to know at the soul level. Nightmares shake me up, but in a way that always puts me back on track to happiness, even if it’s a bit of a hike.