I’m in a waiting room…waiting.
You see, I’m struggling with a health issue. In short, it makes me feel like shit, and takes the fun out of life.
When there’s not a lot of fun in the first place, you begin to cherish it even more. Hell, fun is my middle name!
The point of telling you this is two fold; first of all, we’re not getting any younger, and two, anything that brings you great joy is precious. Silliness for example brings me great joy, as does a double shot of gin with tonic and lime, over-the-top-lovers, brave poetry and a slow, indulgent waking from a solid sleep. None of these are things I’m willing to give up.
The other night, I sat out on the stoop of a pal’s house sipping gin and catching up on what was going on with each other. We laughed and vowed that our gin-sipping-stoop-sitting shall continue on a weekly basis. Just this morning we missed our planned coffee date…and so it goes.
Anyway, here I sit. Now. Waiting. In this room that reminds us that we won’t live forever.
And I’m thinking about my friends and just how shitty our friendships have become.
Women suck at actively nurturing the relationships that make us feel young at heart and ignite our vitality.
After years of being the organizer for lunches and dinners and events, I’ve pretty much given up. It is not my job to drag everyone from their work-a-day doldrums and ho-hum lovers.
It is time to commit to my own joy and vibrancy. It’s time to get my chubby buns in gear and connect with those who respond when I have a spectacularly fun idea. I also solemnly swear to make a special effort to get together with friends who come up with some shenanigans as well.
Let’s face it. Women put themselves last. You know and I know.
If your adult partner and teenage children can’t dress themselves and find food for a day or two, I hate to break it to you, but they’re likely too stupid to justify their space on the planet. If that’s the reason you neglect your friendships, congratulations.
So take a good look around and see if you feel alive. Like really alive; excited about something that makes you lose all track of time, makes you stop worrying, checking your phone and excited to share with kindred spirits. I’m talking about more than hiding in the bathtub with a glass of wine for half an hour every night.
Having said all of this, I’ve lost some of myself lately looking after paying the bills and building a strong foundation from which my kiddo will launch into the world. I’ve lost some of myself digging in to a committed relationship.
I see it now, and I desperately need to adjust my priorities.
There’s this old wives tale that life goes faster the older you get. I no longer think it’s just something old people say. I know it to be true.
Basically, we’re all in a waiting room, forgetting that life is meant to be lived; joyfully, fully, in the present moment with people who cherish you for everything that you are.
If you haven’t heard from me in a while, it’s because I’m trying to find that joy again with people who also appreciate the fleeting nature of our own vitality.