It seemed like a lifetime ago that I lay awake in the dark, staring at a vast, chasm of nothing, and feeling about the same. Dr.Hook blared somewhere on a CD,
“I’ve got a couple more years on you babe, that’s all…”
More than likely there were tears involved. Perhaps some contraband vodka, as those were the early days. This was before I realized that my heart wasn’t broken, I was just being nostalgic.
Ah yes, a couple more years on you babe. I’ve reached an age where it’s not the years, but the experience that makes all the difference, and boy oh boy, do I have experience.
Get your head out of the gutter, I’m not talking about thigh-wrapping-lip-locking-giddy-up-experience. I’m talking about the good stuff; love, loss, overcoming adversity, and enough street-smarts to not really give a hairy rat’s patooty what anyone thinks.
It’s grand darlings, it really is.
Stretched out alone in the darkness as a very young woman, I thought about the love and loss I’d endured from those sinfully delightful men-folk in my life who did, at that time, have a couple more years on me. Back then I never knew that there would be nostalgia on the other side of youth, or that I would feel like the one who had a couple more years on you babe…that’s all.
It ain’t that I’m wiser, it’s only that I’ve spent more time with my back to the wall
Nostalgia is a quick rose-coloured glasses fix on the past, and not so much the grand master of being in the moment. And that’s all we have darlings. This moment.
But sometimes, in the moment, one must realize that being rooted in personal authenticity, and staying flexible enough to bend with the ever-present winds of change is a balancing act that never ends.
Which means, that someone, somewhere, has always got a couple more, or less years on you babe. That’s all.