Heartbreak leaves us utterly spent, hopeless and longing for connection.
It is a form of grief left to work its way out of your heart, struggling against every difficult, dark emotion that was hidden by the light of what you lost.
Our hearts break when our children suffer, when we witness injustice, when we lose a lover, a friend, or our family.
Our hearts break and our worlds change. To survive, we adapt, adjust, stretch ourselves to get through just one more minute, an hour, or a day.
I don’t know about you my darlings, but I’ve been heartbroken and stretched thin for far too long. I’ve wept morning, noon and night in between parenting, paying the bills and carrying out what-must-be-done-to-get-by.
Standing in front of the mirror wondering at how I got this damn old, my son said to me, “You look good mom.”
“Like, ‘thinner‘ good?” I eyed my chubby profile before I slipped on my shoes.
“No, like good all over. Even your face. Like you’re not so worried about work and stuff.” I’ve raised quite the diplomat. Instead of uttering the name of he-who-shall-not-be-named, he just left it at, ‘stuff’.
My first thought was, ‘Holy mother of pearl! I must have looked like a bag of old, worn out crap all summer’.
Heartbreak teaches us some of my favourite go-to-overdone-most-misunderstood-Buddhist teachings;
- Impermanence. Nothing stays the same and everything changes. In other words; This too shall pass.
- Interconnectedness. Our actions have consequences that involve the lives of others; For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
- Karma. Our thoughts and actions cause conditions which we must live through; You reap what you sow.
Heartbreak and moving on means doing things you’ve never done before. It might be going to bed alone, socializing in ways that you would never have done before, picking up a new hobby, or re-connecting with old friends. It can mean silently letting go, or hanging on.
Heartbreak cracks our lives open, with a painful, receding tide that carries away people, places and things that we love. It washes us clean and floods our hearts with life again, brining back what was meant for us; fresh and mysterious.
Wishing you the strength to open your heart so the pain can escape, making more room for love, whatever that may look like.