It’s the Waiting that’s Killing Us

2e2ace5e88f78b655e97a14a2a14a3c5Waiting, patience, giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

As we age, we begin to appreciate the value of these things. As we participate in the ride of life, we begin to realize that some of the pithy generalizations that people make are true; you can’t control what happens to you, you can only control how you react.

To a certain extent this is true. What we also come to recognize is that we can, to some extent control some of the things that happen to us.

Usually it’s by establishing personal boundaries, and filtering out the people who do not contribute to our well-being, who take without giving, and generally display sociopathic, tendencies, albeit on a sliding scale.

Waiting. We wait. We wait and we wait some more.

We wait most of all for perfect timing; for a long weekend, money in the bank or for when the kids are out of school. When we  wait with our own idealistic timeline in mind, it’s not waiting, it’s planning. Planning can be a good thing – it goes a long way to securing security, which, can never be guaranteed.

Let’s face it, every day when we get out of bed, we’re hedging our bets against our own mortality. We spend and save, worry and regret, love or protect our hearts as if we have all of the time in the world.

I hate to break it to you, but we’re not guaranteed a freaking thing; not tomorrow, not fidelity, not good health. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to throw caution to the wind and live a wild and carefree life. Goodness, what on earth would that be like for everyone? You know, living and loving and sharing as if we were all human???

What I’m saying is, align yourself with souls who are on the same path, willing to take risks with matters of the heart, and who don’t want to let life fly by without feeling fully and completely what it is to be joyful, sad, afraid and elated. Don’t settle for a partner who makes you wait, and wait, and wait some more. Don’t feel cuffed to a friend who doesn’t want to expand their horizons.

As the landscapes turn from bright summer, to pastels, and finally to the gold and oranges of autumn, I challenge you to stop waiting.

Stop waiting for someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Stop waiting until the perfect day when you don’t have to rush a little of the daily-what-must-be-dones to arrive at ah-yes-this-is-what-living is’s. Stop waiting for someone, or Jupiter to align with the sun.

Each moment you wait, you check another bar off of your lifeline. Each moment that you wait, you’re not out there meeting other vibrant, life-loving, engaged human beings.

Each moment offers an opportunity to choose something that gives us energy or zaps us. If someone continues to keep you waiting, and waiting, and waiting, I suggest getting up and getting on with the business of being fabulous. Grace and patience do not have to be self-effacing or selfless. If you are waiting for someone, you can wait and still be vibrant. You can wait and still do what you love. You can wait and meet other people to share wonderfully rich and unforgettable moments.

It’s the waiting that’s killing us darlings. Don’t wait.

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