Don’t go all Freudian denotation on me folks. You’re intelligent enough to get the gist of which I speak or else you wouldn’t be here. Basically, for givers, your ego is a check-in. Ego answers the question, Am I feeling like I’m receiving the kind of love that I need?
Recently I’ve had countless conversations about relationships; marriages, co-habitations, affairs, and long-lost loves. The common thread with regard to relationships is that we’re all seeking a match that allows us to be safe while being emotionally vulnerable. A place that allows us to be silly without being criticized. A place where we can explore the taboo sides of our sexuality without shame.
It’s a tall order, but to be fulfilled the answer is simple; one must feel desired, adored and respected by their partner. Which means you need to realize that you ought to do your best to make your partner feel the same way. It’s a two-way street.
It sounds like a tall order, but it’s not that difficult to do. Missing your partner? Tell them. Hell, in today’s world, you’re as far away as a text message or an email. Desiring someone? Tell them. Got something on your mind? Talk to them.
So simple, and yet so neglected.
Many conversations, arguments, or discussions are about reassurance, feeling connected, reaffirming that (in the words of the wise Barry White), your first, your last and your everything, is indeed, that safe, friendly, silly and sexy shelter from the storm of existence that you thought they were.
When one or both people in a relationship feels neglected, less than desired, or disposable, that’s when the trouble starts. So, if you love your sweetie, let them know.
My attitude is to err on the side of overboard. After all, in this one short, wild and unpredictable life, why not let the walls of your ego crumble for an opportunity to connect on a level we need and want.
If you don’t go after it with all of your heart darlings, you will never have it.