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An Open Letter to Mothers With Young Children

"Mothers are the people who love us for no good reason. And those of us who are mothers know it's the most exquisite love of all." ~Maggie Gallagher~
“Mothers are the people who love us for no good reason. And those of us who are mothers know it’s the most exquisite love of all.”
~Maggie Gallagher~

I was you once – giddy with affection and unconditional love for my child.

Every moment was a miracle, and every second I could kiss, cuddle, snuggle or coo my little one, I did. Unapologetically.

I see you out there, proud as punch as you push your strollers and post your photos on social media of your naps, and first steps, and messy little-helping hands of your budding cookie bakers.

Don’t stop.

That’s right. You read that correctly. Don’t stop falling in love with your babies.

I’m the middle-aged woman you pass at the coffee shop, or in the shopping aisle who stops to tell you how beautiful your baby, toddler or young child is. I’m the woman who coos over the outfits and little faces, and even the tears.  I’m one of the kazillion middle-aged women who look at you through their newly increased lens prescription and says; “Enjoy them while they’re young.”

Don’t stop being amazed at every new stage. Ever.Don’t stop wondering how they are when they head off to school, and don’t stop bothering them for a hug, or stories about their day when they become teenagers. Trust me, they will challenge you sometimes.

Whatever happens and whatever they get up to, don’t stop being the ferociously loving mother that you are.

I’ll be honest with you. When my child turned three, I was tempted to see what the return policy was. Four was better. Like a light switch being turned on, the ‘terrible three’s’ (it was three not two) turned into the fabulous four’s, and I had my angel back.

It’s true, every age and stage holds some surprise. Some stages, much like the prize your potty-training-darling hands to you while proudly shouting, “Poo-Poo”  are less satisfying than others. Sometimes you will despair at how you will get through the day; emotionally, physically, financially. Sometimes, you will have nothing left to give. But that’s when us older gals come in.

We’ve been there; the smiling photo-posting-proud-as-pie times and the lonely-how-am-I-going-to-do-it-times. Pick up the phone, talk to us in line at Starbuck’s, or at the grocery store. We’ve been there sister, and lived to coach you through it.

For now, just keep doing what you do. You’re great at it, even when you’re not sure you’re doing it right, you are.

~Enjoy them while they’re little. They grow up too quickly.~




Decluttering Life

holdingonlettinggoDecluttering is an ongoing part of life, kind of like breathing. There is always a taking in what is needed and letting go of what is slowly killing us.  It’s usually the letting go that we find difficult; relationships, body issues, sentimental material goods….

Before I get rid of anything, I ask myself: Do I need this?

When it comes to ‘stuff’ my answer has more and more been a firm and effective no. Relationships on the other hand, well, let’s just say that I’m a tough old gal, and I’m starting to get the feel of ‘yes’. As in yes, I do need this. I do need love and nurturing and the occasional bout of being treated like someone’s true love.

Discernment has been at the forefront of my mind in recent months and I’ve realized that my life is cluttered, which is most likely at the root of my home being cluttered.

Wishing you and I both the discernment to know what to nurture and what to set free.

My life is stuffed-to-bursting with people and things that need to be dusted off and shipped out to new places and people who will cherish and love them.

The new year has renewed my restlessness and strong need to declutter. I’m craving rejuvenation. It’s time to clear out, move on, and get my groove back. It’s tough to be groovy when you’re weighed down with ‘stuff’, so today it started.

I don’t generally make resolutions, so I’m just going to honour the voice inside of me which is screaming; “I CAN’T BREATHE!”. The only way I can think of giving my beleaguered soul some peace is to declutter; my body, my home and my heart.

carlinedeclutterTime to let it all go. Time to set all of my ancient soul-junk on fire and release it on a swift ice-flow to the past. Time to exhale.

Today I dug out a baby shower gift that is long overdue. This week I will buy wrapping and deliver it to the proud grandmere. I also have a birthday gift now wrapped and ready to be sent in the post. Yes, today was about getting paper out-of-the-way.

The magazines are culled, with only a few Buddhist publications and décor magazines left to inspire the painting and decorating that was meant to happen last summer. Le sigh…life moves quickly indeed.

My kiddo has been assigned a huge pile of shredding, and the cat toys have been wrangled up and put away in his cozy little bed. Which, as you’ve guessed, he never uses. Wires have been hidden, houseplants have been brought in to restore air quality and an atmosphere of cozy tranquility.

A couple of months ago, I decluttered my phone contacts. I did it on a whim just before I slipped away to dreamland. What a liberating feeling.

Discernment and declutteing; I’ve got a long way to go, but it’s a start.

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Getting Your Goddess Back

“There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats”~Pablo Picasso~
“There are only two types of women – goddesses and doormats”
~Pablo Picasso~

With love in the air, and all things lining store shelves being red and pink, what better time to reminisce about the great loves of our life who have brought us to where we are today?

Hopefully it’s a place of great self-awareness and blossoming intimacy.

And then again, maybe you’re not in a place of self-awareness and blossoming intimacy.

Perhaps you need a little music to inspire your reminiscing. May I suggest; The Song Remembers When.


Go back.

Click through and listen. Trust me – click.

Oh my stars! You do remember don’t you my precious little darlings? All of those deliciously silly things that we used to do when we were so much younger and carefree. All of the fun times we had with the delicious slices of man-pie we used to know so well?

Oh. My. Stars. Remember how fabulous we were? How fearless?

Ah yesle sigh my petite pumpkins, le sigh. Youth is wasted on the young. But it doesn’t have to be.

It seems, for most of us wonderful gals, that something has drugged the wild and crazy goddesses that we once were.  She is curled up resting. Dormant and waiting to stretch, yawn and come alive again. No matter if you’re with the love of your life, or just starting out again looking for your Mr. Right.

You may need to lose a few pounds or tidy up your closet to find that wild and crazy goddess whom you parted from so very long ago.

I have one piece of advice to get your wild and crazy goddess back;

Figure out what you want, and learn how to ask for it. Simple, Non?

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Dear 2015

Photo ritghts are not not mine. I believe they belong to : "Write it in your heart that every day is the best day in the year." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson" "
Photo rights are  not mine. I believe they belong to :
“Write it in your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson”

My darling 2015, what took you so long?

I’ve been waiting for you since 2013. I thought 2014 was my soul mate, but it turns out I was wrong. So many of us were wrong about that charmer.

But you, you’re the one. I can just feel it in my squishy girly bits.

Take off your boots and put your feet up by the fire. Let me get you something to warm you from the inside out my deliciously, mysterious friend.

This year we’re going to have a lot more beach and a lot less stress. Yes, my sweet new love, let’s make that promise to one another so that when we toast one another good-bye and I move on to your big brother in 2016, we know that we’ve shared a special once-in-a-lifetime. Sand and sea breezes always bring out the best in me, and I’m ready to give it to you! In a pinch, we can settle for pool-side or more long, hot, deliciously candlelit baths. Bring poetry.

Already you’ve gifted me the pleasure of new company thanks to Vicki and Monica. What a delightful way to begin our relationship; surrounded by completely wonderful people who I didn’t know before.  It’s always a blessing to meet kindred spirits who know how to laugh and enjoy life.

You really need to introduce me to your friends. Don’t be jealous 2015, think about it. I’m going to need a lovely man to stick beside me after you leave. That’s your number one priority this year. Do you hear that 2015? A good one; kind, funny, loving, and if it’s not too much to ask, a little younger with some little giddy-up left in him. I will defer to your judgment here as mine has historically sucked.

I woke up with a headache this morning, and I’m assuming that’s because you knocked all of the negative el-poopo out of my energy field last night while I was getting my beauty sleep. Not so rough, eh? I need my lessons delivered gently, with a slow hand and generous heart. After all, I am a lady.

So, I’m all yours 2015.  Fully, completely, and unabashedly committed to making you a year to remember as one that brought good health, joy and love to not just me, but everyone I consider a friend.

Now, enough of all of this talk. Let’s go snuggle.