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Why I Stopped Dating: Part 2

bunnykissesMy previous post left off talking about fairytales.  I spoke of love and even grander love affairs;


I’ve had grand love-affairs. Upon reflection, I’ve had quite a few, but I just haven’t recognized them…I’m not talking about the kind of love affair where you have to sneak off so you aren’t discovered by a jilted partner, over-bearing parents, or the church. No. I’m talking about the kind that coddles and challenges you to be a better person, to be better than you were yesterday, or the day before that.


We took these fairytales literally, and failed to see them as the metaphors that they really are.

What they didn’t tell you about fairytales when you were a child is that you can have a love affair with any damn thing you please.

They also don’t tell you that you’ll have many love affairs, in friendship, romance, career and everything that you’re called to do. The storytelling of our lives is rich because we can’t have everything all at once. There is always a piece missing that we seek to develop ourselves in all aspects of living.

I have to admit that I’ve stopped dating because I’m in love.

Yesterday I spent some time with my sweetheart. I wasn’t going to this weekend. I’d been working long hours and wanted a weekend to myself; to sleep in, run errands, write, read, and contemplate the naval I lost 20lbs ago. But, I’m in the middle of a love affair and I couldn’t stay away.

My office, unlike the last few men I’ve dated, welcomed me with open arms. It had my coffee ready, my favourite chair, and a let me play my weekend jazz station. Sometimes I get jealous when there are other people around; jealous of the quiet, the space and distraction.

“Wait a minute you crazy broad. You can’t have a love affair with your job“, I can hear you say. I can also see you rolling your eyes. Stop judging me.

I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Although I’ve made a conscious decision to stop dating, I’m involved in one of the most satisfying love affairs with my work and my self. Go figure.

Just like a relationship with a person, good work is challenging. Passionate hobbies can make you feel inadequate and work harder to perfect whatever it is that you’ve fallen in love with. Whatever your beloved, it can make you feel like you’ll never be good enough. Friendships can make you feel more unconditionally loved than even the most devout lovers.

When all of this is so good, why don’t I have a man in my life?”

I used to ask myself that question all the time. Now I know the answer. As frustrating as it might be, it’s simply not the time for it.

For everything, there is indeed a season, and I’m certainly going to enjoy this one, without worrying about who or what  may come next.


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