If you’re Buddhist, you’re familiar with the idea of the ‘triple gem’; the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Don’t worry, you don’t have to look it up or know what that is to get the gist of the rest of this post.
Just know the following thoughts were inspired by a long, long, long career as a single woman, and as recently as this evening, a glass of Beringer and a hot soak.
As I stretched out in the hot bath, candles flickering all around, and the dulcet tones of Sinead O’Connor singing her multi-layered lyrics trickling over the sound of the flow of water, I let my little ol’ girl brain wander to thoughts more pleasant than deadlines, finances, and how I was going to skillfully maneuver through a week with too few days to realistically accomplish all that I need to do.
In circumstances such as these, I tend to go back to my breath, to a quiet mind, and matters of the heart.
I’m good at a lot of things, I’m smart, and I get it. Women of a certain age are ok with not being the love of someone’s life, not being coveted, and merely providing a great way to spend an evening. We’re all human after all darlings, and even women need to satisfy their appetite for thick, juicy man-steaks every now and then.
But real love, and real relationships are much like any of the gems in the triple gem. They are multi-faceted, with an unlimited number of ways to delight and inspire.
It is my belief that great relationships make each partner sparkle. But when held to the light, they also emphasize imperfections. If you can stand in the shadow of those flaws and still love someone, you’ve figured it all out. You pass go, collect two-hundred dollars and get a big, fat, wet snog, followed by the questionable joy of sleeping with someone who snores. Be careful what you wish for darlings.
My line of work and my own personal experience has taught me that it is in darkness that the rarest of beauty is found. Depth of wisdom often comes at the cost of darkness, the unknown, and having a willingness to explore and be curious with one another.
Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.
This kind of relationship is the real gem folks; one where you can be tender and loving, silly and playful and sensual enough to make satan blush.
If you bring the elements of the triple gem into relationship with you, and are courageous enough to let them guide you, you’re on the right path.
What you need to ask yourself is how willing are you to stand in the shadow cast by the brilliance of your sweetheart? It takes courage in this crazy world, and a whole lotta love.