As soon as she said it, I pictured the rest of my refrigerator wisdom in the bin, and a big, bold, black and white sign sprawled across the fridge. Substitute whatever pronoun you need.
Monogamy is a very sad thing to waste. Let me clarify; don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. Monogamy is for the love of your life, your partner, your confidant, the person you look forward to…every. single. day.
In other words, if they can’t choke out the word commitment or relationship, double up on your contraceptives, and enjoy the ride. Make no promises and keep an eye out for the next bus to the next town sweetheart.
But you don’t know until you know ,do you? I mean, life and our wonder years are too short and fleeting to let much time pass with the wrong, person. One night stands and sex-only relationships work because they don’t leave anything to the romantic imagination.
In the past, I’ve waited, and wondered and whined about the men I’ve been with, waiting for the magic, over-night, I love you, etcetera.
However, after a long, drawn-out, dare I say, ‘shit-show’ of a relationship that sucked almost three good years into the vortex of wasted time (kind of like those hours they figure we spend peeing and commuting), I decided that I was going to go whole hog with this relationship hoo-ha.
I no longer wait and wonder, I just put it out there, and if it comes back to me, super.
If not, I cry in my pillow a bit, cook, drink, have a rebound tussle under the sheets, and carry on.
As it turns out, we all know it’s pretty easy to snag the wrong kind of person. The Friday night guy. The Sunday afternoon guy. The mid-week drink and a puff guy. Whatever your poison, it’s always preferred to snuggle in with Mr. or Ms. Right when you’ve reached a certain age.
It doesn’t get easier to navigate uncharted romantic waters, when in fact, you may be lost in Shag-it-for-awhile Bay. But then, it’s not supposed to. What I like to believe is that all the failures make success that much more sweet.
When you put your heart out there ( sooner rather than months and months later, is, in fact, much better for you my darlings), and you don’t get anything back, pull up anchor, and abort the exploration.
As much as I like to believe there is good in everyone, sometimes, when it comes to matters of the heart, “He’s not. Fucking. Worth it.”
You can put that on your fridge honey, and take it to the bank.