Trying to guess what someone else is thinking is like trying to imagine life with a third eye.
In other words, it’s impossible.
You might get close. You might even consider all of the options over a glass or two of wine with your finest gal-pals, or like I’ve been trying to do lately, you might just give it up completely and carry on with life.
You see, I have a pretty good ability to measure the emotional temperature of a room. Once I have a conversation or work with someone for a while, it’s not too difficult to understand what motivates someone.
When it comes to love however, I absolutely have no idea what’s going on.
It was recently pointed out to me by a brave man, who came back asking for a second chance. At what, I’m still not sure, but nonetheless, he had courage, and I can respect that.
Before we signed our peace treaty and sealed it with a set of messy sheets and a bottle of bubbly, he entertained me through two Manhattan’s with the reason why he disappeared in the first place. I was gob-smacked to hear his perspective, because we all know that I’m always right. Right?
I ran the scenario according to HIM by my gal-pal Dar, and she had to take his side. Yes, I had to admit that I stink at communication with men. More specifically, men I date, sleep with, or am remotely interested in.
A woman known for her ability to communicate, persuade and inspire, I fall well short when it comes to romance. I can intellectualize it for you though.
I am driven by the limbic brain. You know, that part that has been there since our ancestors crawled out of the ocean, onto the land, and chewed off their fins.
The limbic brain is a neighbour to the neo-cortex, where all of our language is formed so we can express ourselves to one another. Unfortunately, the limbic brain and the neo-cortex are bad neighbours. Having said that, being highly intuitive does not equal being highly able to express emotional thoughts.
So lately, as difficult as it is for a control-freak like myself, I have given up guessing what the hell is going on in a man’s mind. I have decided to let destiny unfold without any kind of tinkering or infiltrating the mind of my suitors. Trying.
That does not mean that my lovely and wonderful rendez-vous have gone un-analyzsed by myself and my pals. That does not mean that I have not been kept awake at night wondering what ‘he’s’ thinking, or why ‘he’ did that, or why ‘he’ didn’t do that. It just means that I’m trying to let it go, and let the right man make a place for himself in my life.
My vast experience with men has taught me that trying to guess their emotions or motivation is like choosing something using the eeny- meeny-miney-moe method of deduction. It just doesn’t work, and it’s a waste of time.
Instead, I’m just doing my best to be in the moment. I am just letting myself love and enjoy them completely and fully without expectation or, disappointment.
So, as my friend Ms. Teri M. says, “May the best man win“.