That’s Not How it Was Supposed to Happen

not this wayHow many times have you thought that, or even said it out loud? A lot of things come about and unfold in a very different way than we had ever predicted.

I read and re-read an issue of Shambhala Sun magazine from 2011. It’s about love in all of its chameleon-like forms. Today, I read a passage that struck a cord in me;

“…Finally, as in a fairy tale, she said, “Okay, I’ll marry you”. So they got married and had a couple of kids and then, as you might have predicted, she left and he went crazy for a while. Love is a whole thing – the wooing, the doubts, the attempt to overcome the doubts, the breakup, the going crazy. You don’t get only the nice bits and you don’t actually want to get only the nice bits.  Obstacles are intrinsic to love and enlightenment; without obstacles the transformation inside the lover can’t find its form or come into being…”

Singledom has never felt better, even though, just like the rest of you fabulous darlings, I’m getting older with every tick of the clock. Motherhood has never been more satisfying, even though my baby is way too big to cuddle, and is almost ready to fly the coop. My career  has never been more satisfying, despite not being or doing what I thought I would be when I started out over 20 years ago. My friendships have never been more rich and satisfying.

Who knew life would be this way?

Like venturing out on a roadtrip, it’s the winding backroads and charming little towns that  you didn’t know were there,  which make the journey an adventure.

It’s only the view from the valley that allows you to take in the full majesty of the mountains, and only from the mountain-tops that you can appreciate the lush tangle of life that exists in their shadow.

Life isn’t what I thought it would be, but unlike many people who’ve settled for relationships (of every kind), I’ve left my door open just a little bit for something wonderful.

Instead of imagining the worst, why not begin to daydream about meandering around the next bend when you bump into that special something or someone?





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