That’s Not How it Was Supposed to Happen

not this wayHow many times have you thought that, or even said it out loud? A lot of things come about and unfold in a very different way than we had ever predicted.

I read and re-read an issue of Shambhala Sun magazine from 2011. It’s about love in all of its chameleon-like forms. Today, I read a passage that struck a cord in me;

“…Finally, as in a fairy tale, she said, “Okay, I’ll marry you”. So they got married and had a couple of kids and then, as you might have predicted, she left and he went crazy for a while. Love is a whole thing – the wooing, the doubts, the attempt to overcome the doubts, the breakup, the going crazy. You don’t get only the nice bits and you don’t actually want to get only the nice bits.  Obstacles are intrinsic to love and enlightenment; without obstacles the transformation inside the lover can’t find its form or come into being…”

Singledom has never felt better, even though, just like the rest of you fabulous darlings, I’m getting older with every tick of the clock. Motherhood has never been more satisfying, even though my baby is way too big to cuddle, and is almost ready to fly the coop. My career  has never been more satisfying, despite not being or doing what I thought I would be when I started out over 20 years ago. My friendships have never been more rich and satisfying.

Who knew life would be this way?

Like venturing out on a roadtrip, it’s the winding backroads and charming little towns that  you didn’t know were there,  which make the journey an adventure.

It’s only the view from the valley that allows you to take in the full majesty of the mountains, and only from the mountain-tops that you can appreciate the lush tangle of life that exists in their shadow.

Life isn’t what I thought it would be, but unlike many people who’ve settled for relationships (of every kind), I’ve left my door open just a little bit for something wonderful.

Instead of imagining the worst, why not begin to daydream about meandering around the next bend when you bump into that special something or someone?





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Waitin’ On the Day

Tuesday, by far, the longest day of any week.

It’s time to sit back darling. Relax by an open window with the moonlight shining in on you and take  time to breathe deeply, and dream of the day you’ve been waiting on….


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carrouselIt never ends, does it?

You know what I mean darlings, this learning something new every day.

When I was much younger, and had a whole  of  uncultivated fabulousness, I thought that one day, I would have it all together. All -as in my life. As in career, finances, family and my man.

Ha! Haha! Please stop reading for 15 seconds while I try to contain my hysterical laughter and go get a tissue.

Life, as it turns out is a series of lessons, tests of character, and moments of exquisitely breathtaking, and sometimes painful beauty.

Dennis Leary had a blunt, but oh-so-marvelously-truthful comedy skit about happiness. At about fifty-five seconds into this video, he nails it. He speaks the truth about happiness as we know it; it is fleeting, so enjoy it while it lasts.

On the flip side, my juicy little niblets, life is agonizing as well. The key is to ride the ups and downs of life more like a carousel than a thundering roller coaster destined for hell.

Life, if anything, is chaos, change, impermanence, and a relentless opportunity to learn that you really know absolutely everything and nothing at all.

So choose joy when you can. Choose mischief and fun, and  the occasional sweaty tousle under the sheets when the opportunity arises (ah-hem).

Just remember, what goes up must also come down. And what hits rock bottom generally bounces back up.



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That Ship Has Sailed

sailboatsPeople change.

So it naturally follows that what we want, what we need, and what makes us happy changes as well.

In a day, a moment, a split-second, everything can change. And, it can change back.

We live during a time when communication is too often summed up in pithy short one-liners that are often contradictory; “Don’t burn your bridges”, or if it suits you better, “Sometimes the future is best seen by the light of a burning bridge”.

Hmm…how on earth does a girl choose?

Do we light that sucker up, or do we keep smiling and leave the bridge in tact?

Well, if someone is toxic, mean-spirited, and generally an all around douche, burn that bridge baby.  Otherwise, keep your mouth shut and carry on.

Trust me, if you think that a certain ship has sailed, whether it be a relationship, professional contact, or opportunity, be sure that same ship will come back to port, if even just to refuel and load more rum.

Be ready for it darlings.