“….it’s not like you to not respond, are you ok?….”
That was a personal email that greeted me after my last meeting of the day before I headed out as car-pool mom for band practice tonight.
It’s been one of those weeks that finds me at Wednesday evening without having had addressed any of my personal mail, and feeling like I was spinning my wheels at the office.
“Oh pooh-bear!” I thought to myself, “That’s right! I totally forgot I was supposed to do that Monday”.
As much as I felt terrible for getting back to my friend late, I felt elated that somewhere out there, someone knew me, and cared enough to check up on me.
After all, that’s what friends do right?
I have been accused of being the mothering type, the smothering type, and just generally genuinely concerned for the well-being of my friends.
Often times when I’m down and out, stressed, or dealing with the blues, I wonder just how decomposed my body would be before someone, somewhere, noticed I wasn’t around. Sometimes I fear that it would be the smell coming from my patio doors that garnered attention rather than the lack of my signature white wine sangria at the most recent ladies lunch.
Inevitably my besties do call or email, but we’ve been known to go for a couple of weeks without much more than a text or Facebook like.
I figure because they’re all married, their spouses would know something was up sooner than me, so that takes a little pressure off. But I’m single, so the smell vs. sangria clue is a reality darlings.
So, when this friend was in touch today, slightly panicked about my commitment to help, but sincerely concerned about what was keeping me from my usual priorities, I was touched.
It’s a fine balance, this checking-in business. You don’t want to be pushy, but you want someone to know that you’re available should they need a shoulder, a couch, or an alibi.
So, in this case I do not have a top ten list of reasons and ways to ‘check-in’. I have one piece of advice; Just do it. Don’t over analyze. Don’t hesitate. Don’t wait for the smell.
If your gut is telling you something is off, or that someone may need to hear that you care, they probably do.