Why Nice Guys Finish Last First, then First Last

Nice Smile

Nice Smile (Photo credit: Tobyotter)

Yes, it’s a quite a bit to wrap your pretty little heads around, but eventually it makes sense.

Have a long pull on your short bourbon ladies, and settle in to tell us the story of the one who got away, or, if you’re anything like the bitch I’ve been, the one ( or hundreds) you pushed away.

So, let’s get down to the naked truth shall we my sweet little puddin’ pies?

Why Nice Guys (ultimately) Finish First…

1) Eventually we understand that a man of his word is better than a man of sleazy charm.

2) Nice stays nice. It’s kind, and cozy, and something you want to be around for a long, long, long, long time.

3) Eventually not-so-nice-guys wear thin on false-promises, and hedging their bets that some other chick will come along for a cheap thrill.

4) Nice is hot. Assholes are not.

5) Women can look forward to a nice guy. Anticipation is sexy and makes us warm up to give you lots of hot, creative, good-lovin’.  Not-so-nice-guys are a constant disappointment.

6) Nice guys never have an issue with their erection. It’s true darlings, don’t deny it. They’re honest with no psychological baggage to weigh down their mascot.

7) After reading #6, why read any further?

8) Gosh you’re demanding!!! Please, have another sip of that bourbon darling…. Nice guys don’t need reminding of your birthday, your anniversary, or that you need extra-special TLC on a regular basis.

9) Nice guys never forget how lucky they are to have a woman like you on their arm. They don’t scan the crowd to see what else is out there. They cherish what they have and maintain it sweetie pies.

10) Nice guys are ok with women who like to take the lead, and they feel flattered when you trust them enough to take  their turn.

Go ahead, work up your courage ladies. Pamper yourself with a hot bath, tidy up your tender bits, and get on the phone to that wonderful, nice guy that you know is out there waiting for you.  I promise you won’t be disappointed!

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