Valentine’s Day Dont’s

cupid

“Dear Lady be cautious of Cupid, List well to the lines of this verse, To be kissed by a fool is stupid, To be fooled by a kiss is worse”
~Ambrose Redmoon~

With the big day coming up in less than a month, I’m starting your training early. This goes for you too ladies.

It’s time to debunk some Valentine’s day myths. Let’s simply start with a what-not-to-do list.

1) Do not, EVER, believe your partner when they agree to ‘just not make a big deal of it’. Bah-lovebug!  If you’re arm-wrestled in to this arrangement, make a simple but romantic effort, and if your partner is a total doofus, reconsider your relationship status.

2) Do not buy lingerie. Be responsible for your own wardrobe so you each feel confident. Unless you’re into the Fifty Shades Fetish, then go to town.

3) Flowers. No need to buy the ever-over-priced, high-demand red roses. Yes, everyone appreciates the sentiment, but it’s even more thoughtful to bring her a bouquet of her favourites. Mine, for example, are daffodils. Go ahead and pick them up the day before, keep them in water, and voila – you’re in love.

4) Sexual delights. Giddy-up and use your imagination. Stretch first – don’t do anything that puts you at a high risk for breaking any bones. Emergency room visits, particularly those involving orifices, are rather unromantic.

5) Champagne, scotch, beer…whatever helps you relax and get in the mood. Don’t over do it. Much like E.R. visits, vomit and premature snoring are also not sexy.

6) Surprise getaways. Woo-hoo! Go for it. Make sure if you’re leaving early on a weekday that your sweetie isn’t stressed by it.

7) No matter what stage your relationship is at, Valentine celebrations should always involve kissing and laughter. Belly laughs score amazingly high on the sexy-meter.

8) Start planning now. If you’re making reservations, ordering a bouquet, or wanting to pick up some spices for the bedroom, you want the best selection and a variety of choice.  Go now.

9)  Relax. Your partner is with you because they like you, and they like spending time with you. Acknowledge the day as extravagantly or as simply as you like, just put some thought into it and make it special and sweet.

10) Plan something for two weeks after the big day, and every couple of weeks after that. You know, just to keep the embers warm.

 

Please pass this along to anyone who may be valentine deficient, and keep checking back

for the multitude of ideas coming from a dame who knows the ropes.

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2 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day Dont’s

  1. I like this 😀 On my first Valentine with Hairy, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and so we kinda failed but since then we’ve been doing something nice but not crazy extravagant. Lingerie is bad (I’m so awkward, he wouldn’t have a clue), but flowers are always so amazing!

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