you’re ancient and withered
but the ladies still want your bod.
You’re dirty and you’re eloquent
and damned to be a saint.
Oh, my man Leonard,
you’re everything you say you ain’t.
For a Jewish, Buddhist monk
you’re irreverent and you’re cute.
Your lusty little secrets
can’t hide beneath your suit.
Your dapper hat, your crooked smile,
your second-hand physique
make modest older women wet
and then go very weak.
For lesser men with half your charm
you’ve left no words to speak
that you, our idol, Leonard
haven’t already given to the weak.
So bless you for your sharing sir,
may you travel well and safe,
and I wish for you, you dirty man
sated women in your wake.