What’s not to like about Christmas? The food, the decorations and lights, not to mention all the fun times with friends and family.
What if you don’t have family? What if your life is in shambles and you just don’t feel like being festive?If that’s the case, Christmas time can really suck.
When I was first starting out on my own with my kiddo, Christmases were hard. I was working long hours at a demanding job, going to school, and trying to raise a toddler all alone in the city. With no family, and only new friends close by, there were a lot of times that I felt lonely, and worse than lonely – alone.
I know, I know, it’s hard to believe that a gal like me could ever feel anything but wonderful. There were days I thought I couldn’t go on, that I was going to break.
One cold, snowy morning, I dragged my son out of bed, and out of the basement apartment we were living in.As we stepped out into the pre-dawn freezing rain, and onto the icy walk (the landlord never cleared the snow), my mood was in the toilet.
I was tired, I was cold, and I felt terrible about dragging my little kiddo out into the cold and dark when I knew he deserved to be tucked into bed in a home with a mom and a dad.
About two steps into our journey to the driveway, my kiddo smiled up at me as his red boots skittered along the ice, “It’s a be-youteeful day Mommy!”
His joy broke my heart. I felt unworthy of such a wonderful little person.
There were many mornings like this my first few years on my own. One of the only encouraging thing about my days was the kindness of my colleagues.
There was one man I worked with who would always find time in the morning to make a cup of espresso for me and have a chat before we started our days. Unbeknownst to him, these were the only moments in the day that I had a chance to stop and catch my breath. The only time I wasn’t working, worrying about bills, or babysitters.
So, despite absolutely loving Christmas, and having wonderful friends to share the season with this year, I’m no stranger to the other side of the holiday; the echo of loneliness that sounds loudly when a home is empty.
Christmas isn’t just about December 25th. It’s about the spirit of loving kindness that permeates the season.No matter what the date make the time that you do spend with your children and your loved ones Christmas.
A word to anyone who feels lonely this Christmas; try not to let who isn’t with you take away from who is. Life is short and precious my darlings. There is love all around, but it looks quite a bit different from what the fairy tales taught us.
Wishing all of you peace. Wishing all of you wisdom. Wishing all of you a light-hearted giggle or two.