Today was the opening day of a warehouse sale by ‘invitation only’. Bumper to bumper carts flowed in a steady stream mimicking rush-hour traffic, through aisles packed with Christmas candy, toys, and a plethora of tacky bits and bobs that either lit up, or were rolled in sparkles.
Line-ups snaked down the far aisle, essentially making it impassable for anyone other than those in line to pay. I chose a shorter line up, and that’s where I got my first taste of the chaos and survival of the fittest mentality that takes over every grocery store and shopping centre from now until the new year. Not 60 seconds in line, I had a cart wedge itself quite firmly in the crack of my bum.
I breathed in, and I breathed out. Ahhhhh, yes. ‘Tis the season.
I have a few suggestions to keep the madness at bay this year as you forage your way through the minefield of holiday shopping. If you area man, please read to the end where I have a special suggestion just for you.
1) In a check-out line up, keep your cart, or self, at least 30cm away from the person in front of you. Being so close someone can feel your breath on their neck will not speed things up, it will only increase Effexor sales.
2) Retailers need to prioritize their customers. Price matchers who gobble up time need a separate line until the end of January if not forever.
3) Shop in the morning. You got it. It saves loads of time. I’m not a last-minute shopper by any means, other than one more major gift, I’m ready to go, but I still need groceries every week. If stores open early, head out half an hour earlier, pack a cooler in the car to keep things at the right temperature, and you’re all set.
4) Remember the golden rule, be patient and gentle OR just go home. Breathe, and remember how awful it must be to live as angry and impatient as the woman who has her shopping cart rammed up your butt.
5) Simplify your holiday. I don’t care what so-and-so-thinks. Just do what really brings you and your loved one joy. Go skating, bake cookies, read by the fire, drink wine and make wild passionate love instead of exchanging gifts. Simplifying makes you sexy and lovable.
6) Sing along to the Christmas music in the stores. It’s bound to a) make you more relaxed, and b) keep others at a safe carting distance.
7) Just buy half a dozen extra bottles of your favourite vino, and a few boxes of chocolates. You never know when you’re invited to a last-minute get-together or someone drops in. If you don’t end up giving away the wine or sweets, you’ll always use them later on. What a lovely reward for being prepared!
8) Have your payment ready. Debit? Credit? Store points card? While you’re waiting in line dig through that tickle trunk of a purse you carry and get organized.
9) Drink. Just before you head out into the grand game of getting, take a moment at a restaurant at the mall and have a glass of vino. It will slow you down, make you jolly, and voila – life is good.
10) One of my favourite shopping spots is www.chapters.indigo.ca Make a wish list and encourage your loved ones to do the same. That way you can share lists, and order on-line. I have my purchases delivered to my office, and it cuts down on a huge amount of stress.
If you need a bit more insight into the art of gift-giving, please see “Gifts Reveal the Giver“.
Now, for that little tidbit I promised you wonderful www.andshelaughs.com men; JEWELRY. It doesn’t have to be Tiffany, and it couldn’t be more simple. We love you anyway, and we love to sparkle for you.