Terms of Not-So-Endearment

“An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.”
~ William Somerset Maugham

How much to reveal and how soon? Those are two really important questions to ask yourself when getting to know a new partner. 

Often times, it’s when we get a glimpse of someone’s ugly bits (I’ m not talking about what’s hiding inside your undies ladies and gents) that we head for the hills, or decide to love someone anyway.

We all have our war stories, but today I’m going to treat you to a glimpse of relationship battlefield shrapnel. Yes, some are tales of my own battles, some are tales that belong to my gorgeous gal-pals.

1)  Your partner sleeps with a black beauty mask and has a twice daily skin care regime.

2) Your soon-to-be hubby sleeps with earplugs and fuzzy socks. Every. Single. Night.

3) Your partner horks (please don’t make me write a definition for this) in the shower.

4) Your partner has a recurring fungal infection down there, and has to regularly use prescription ointment.

5) Your partner twirls their pubic hair into dreadlocks when they’re late with their manscaping regime.

6) Your partner regularly takes ‘nutritional’ supplements to boost his booster, and insists this is normal. It’s not normal.

7) Your partner begins to use the word ‘bloated’ frequently. No, no, no. This is what girl-talks and physicians are for.

8) Your forty-something  partner thinks having mumsie do his laundry is perfectly acceptable.

9) Your partner likes shoes. Large, red, high-heeled, shoes. On himself.

10) Your partner wears socks more than one day in a row. Ewww!

11) Your partner insists on wearing bikini undies because he honestly thinks they turn you on and make his junk look bigger.

12) Your partner has a latex allergy that causes swelling. I have yet to decide if this is a bad thing.

Are any of these make-it-or-break-it quirks for you?

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