Rules of Engagement

Elite Dinner Party!

Elite Dinner Party! (Photo credit: Yelp.com)

Years ago I was invited to a very purposeful dinner party. It was a monthly event hosted by a core group of single friends looking for a partner. 

The key to the success of the event was that everyone committed to  participation. The catch was that you had to convince one new single person of the same-sex to attend the party with you.

Each month, the members of the group were introduced to friends of friends, thereby expanding social circles and increasing exposure to potential partners.

I never attended these dinner parties despite multiple invitations. You see, I’m just not that kind of girl. Stifled polite conversation doesn’t get to the heart of who someone is, it merely let’s you know whether a gentleman knows which utensils and plates to use.

If I were to host such parties ( and I just may decide to do this), I would have other rules.

ANDSHELAUGHS

Rules of Engagement

1) Everyone must cook a dish to bring to the party, include the recipe,and make up a story about how the recipe came to be. Extra attraction points go to rom/com stories in line with the theme of the evening.

2) Everyone would have to take off their shoes and socks at the door. Nothing says ‘be fore-warned about all of my bad stuff’ like the ugliness of someone’s feet. This way, the ice is broken, we’ve seen some of  your ugly bits.

3) All guests would have to join hands and sing/learn the Johnny Appleseed prayer. Any man who is brave enough to sing Johnny Appleseed is truly a man.

4)There would be a bowl of discussion topics in the centre of the table to be passed around. Each diner would have to speak for two minutes. Subjects could include; my morning bathroom routine, favourite every-day getaways, reasons I may not want to be romantic, what part of my body makes me uniquely sexy.

5)A two drink limit. You must have two drinks to loosen up prior to your speech. Wine is a truth serum. If you don’t/can’t consume alcohol, I’ll sneak you half a Valium just to get you loosened up.

6) Proper, boy, girl, boy, girl seating to ensure a good mix.

7) A confession segment. The ‘guests’ would have to confess one thing they’re envious of, about the person who invited them.

8) Mandatory phone list and confidentiality agreement. To ensure that all diners and guests are sincere in their efforts to work toward the goal of the group, attendees must provide their contact information (phone number) to the host in advance. A list will be provided to every guest at the end of the evening. The numbers must be held in confidence and not shared outside of the group.

9) Each guest must participate in all events, including the games section. One of the following games would take place following the meal; Pictionary, Charades, Name That Tune (byok – bring your own kazoo).

10)  Invited guests interested in joining the ‘group’ could do so after buying the executive committee (myself and anyone else interested in a governance position) a bottle of Spanish Cava and a Dairy Milk bar.

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3 thoughts on “Rules of Engagement

  1. You had me as a participant right up until the part of the Dairy Milk Bar! 🙂
    By the way, I find most (as I do not read all of your posts and so cannot speak to them), a great read!

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