April 2/12 Journal Entry – in an open air cafe listening to cuban jazz musicians work their magic…maybe a mojito, perhaps an espresso…whatever the case may have been, I share my thoughts with you;
I’m always stunned by women who can dress in the heat. I mean really dress, so that to those of us watching, they seem like a cool breeze whilst we melt in the skulking humidity.
Myself, I prefer living in the heat. I like loose-fitting clothing and to have my bobbed-hair tied back, screaming out wildly from behind my ears. I would love to look like the women who appear as a breeze, but I like to to swim, to fish and to feel the ground under my feet when the heat is so powerful that it begs us back to the earth and sea.
Rather than being the kind of woman who spends energy dressing like the breeze, I am the type of woman who creates the breeze. Perhaps I’m more like gale across the Great Lakes? Yes. I am more like the energy that creates a blustery gale.
I much prefer to break a sweat than to wait to be waited on. Although, being waited on especially by a man would be lovely. I have had men in my life deny me the pleasure of being in a committed relationship because of my love of doing and knowing for myself. In other words, I failed to make my potential love interests feel like I needed them.
What the hell were they thinking?! I do not and will likely never understand that. Of course I need someone. In that way, gale-women and the breeze-women are alike. Because I am strong does not mean that I feel less. I believe, in fact, that people who emote strength, especially strength of character, feel more deeply, intuit more sensitively and have a deep knowledge of the need for love in order to carry on despite adversity.
Often men get confused when I engage them in conversation about fishing, camping, baseball, business and global politics. First they think I am engaging them in conversation because, as a single, middle-aged female, I (of course!) am on the hunt for a man. Wrong.
I am hunting for meaningful, intellectual conversation and camaraderie. Once a newly acquainted man realizes that I am not going to turn my intelligent conversation into any one of the following;
1) Why I love chocolate and wine
2)How large my breasts are
3)Asking what their favourite colour and astrological sign is
…they get extremely uncomfortable speaking to an unmarried woman and head for the door, or, and this is rare, they relax and actually engage in civil conversation. Perhaps our ability to dress like the breeze and need the opposite sex is powerful currency?
…To be continued in my next post – Cuba – I’ll Trade You