I Beg of You Ladies & Gents; Let the Lads Keep Their Testicles

A pair of lions copulating in the Maasai Mara,...

A pair of lions copulating in the Maasai Mara, Kenya (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have fallen hard for another blog. I have been wooed by the hairier-sex. The counterpoint to ANDSHELAUGHS; KEEP YOUR TESTICLES.

I have provided a link here to one of the posts, and got quite a kick out of reading it.   The particular post that I link to is one where the writer describes 10 things that he and his wife have come to an understanding of in their relationship. I respect what is written because it is a contract between two adults in relationship.

Point number one is pretty good. If either partner wants to have a little hanky-panky, it shan’t be refused by the other partner as a means of punishment, control, etc. Amen. I’m all for that. Why would you use such a beautiful thing as love-making, or hot-sweaty-jungle-sex as a weapon?

The second point can be summarized by saying the ‘man’ decides upon the rules and guidelines of the house. The understanding is if he’s out making the bacon, and wifey is keeping the home/family in order,he gets to make the call on guidelines. Oh sweetheart, that’s just so not thought out. If I, as a woman, am responsible for turning your hard-earned money into a well-run, safe haven for a family I will only live there if the ‘rules’ are decided upon together. I respect your role, and you respect mine. We both have valuable, unique insight to share.

Point number three – he will not shop with me. Thank you Jesus, Allah, Buddha and the universe! If I don’t feel good in a piece of clothing, I don’t care what anyone else’s opinion is. For all of you men out there who do follow your lady love into the women’s change-room – get a life you useless perverts. It’s a women’s change room, not a showroom for controlling men.

Women, according to point number four are not allowed to do manly things with their partner. Meh. I love to be outdoors, to camp, fish, have a campfire, so I couldn’t abide this completely. There will be overlap, or perhaps some conversation about it. After all, I do not want my man out on lady’s lunch days, at my aesthetician with me, or at the spa. I can live with number 4, but it’s kinda sexy watching you guys do manly things. You might want to temper this one gents.

Now, point number five is about who does the cooking. A sore point with me since the last man I dated never had a nice thing to say about anything I cooked. He was after all,  better than the rest of the world at everything, including cooking and looking at himself in the mirror. Caveat – he was a wonderful cook, and I loved it when he cooked special meals for my birthday etc. I firmly believe that men should BBQ better than women. I mean, manly open flame, raw hunks of meat and all. I am a full-time working mom, and I  happily cook meals for my small family. I’m all for having a romantic dinner cooked for me, but I’d rather just be taken out for a really great dinner so there isn’t a mess to clean up afterward. That leaves more time for the hot-sweaty-love making.

The author lost me on point number six about having a bath drawn for him after a long day, because then he wrote something about crawling in with him uninvited. Sweet love of Mary, I have to find one of these manly men to cool my raging-hormone-panty-fires!

He wrote something about protecting the wife and kids in point number seven. Very sexy, very hot, very cowboy-cover-of-Harlquin. I live in Canada though, so the only concealed weapon my beaux could carry is a licorice stick or some such apparatus for pacifist beatings.

Number eight; No criticism….Bite.Your. Tongue……goes both ways, just like the last part of point number eight about coming to him with respect. Come to me with respect also. No criticism is also why men need men-time and women need women-time. Bitch, vent, and then be grateful for the wonderful partner that you know you have.

I’ll leave points 9 and 10 for you to read, or to send to a wonderful man who you know.

Interesting blog that.  KEEP YOUR TESTICLES…makes you think, and makes me excited to meet my blind-date manly man tomorrow night.

Keep laughing ladies, and remember – independent thinking is sexy as hell.

ps – a piece of advice from a woman who’s been around the block a few times – if you think you need to check his phone, don’t bother.  If your intuition knows, you already know that you’ll find stuff you don’t like, he’s lied about, and you should just skip right to dumping his useless buns and getting on with life. There are really great men out there worth your time and energy.

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5 thoughts on “I Beg of You Ladies & Gents; Let the Lads Keep Their Testicles

  1. I think both blogs are very well put!! It is truly, a simple understanding between two people that make a marriage/partnership work. It is people that make things difficult for themselves and not seeing the simple picture of life, love and ultimate happiness!! Loved both! Keep up the great work!!

  2. I think you will also like the newest posts at Keepyourtesticles.wordpress.com. One besides the feminine male searching for approval on Facebook. The other bemoans the demons of Internet porn which keeps men from true intimacy. Keep writing. You have good stuff.

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