Yogurt and herbal tea. That was my advice to my girlfriend today when she called with an all too common-amongst-women health concern.
Secret Christmas gifts for two little kidlets who broke my heart and taking more pain meds was her advice when I told her about my heartbreak and surgical recovery.
What would we do without one another? Our girlfriends I mean. I have great friends who fill in as my mother and sisters of choice. Throughout the years I have received and given great advice from this small but mighty clique.
Some of the advice that has been doled out includes;
1) Bladder infections: drink a warm glass of water prior to doing the nasty. Cranberry juice, no coffee, no sugar, no dairy, no sex (?!), no baths, no wine.
2)Financial woes; draft a budget, forget to sign your cheque, educate yourself about financial services,buy it once, eggs go a long way.
3)Stress; deal with it now or it will catch up with you, drink, smoke pot,don’t drink, don’t smoke pot, have sex,get your vibrator out, cry it out, talk about it, don’t worry I’ll take care of it for you.
4)Problems with a Co-worker; quit your job,spit in their coffee mug,talk to them,just let them talk until everyone else realizes they’re an idiot, drink when you get home, get your resume ready.
5)Entertaining; hire a maid, potluck, hide your weed,clean like a mad woman, google it,relax.
6)Dating; wear something slutty, wear something classy,stand him up,do it for practice, do it to discover new restaurants.
7)Childrearing; it won’t last forever, go ahead spoil him, you have to have rules,take a mom-time-out,give him gravol, I’ll babyset.
8)Fashion; you can borrow my fat clothes, you can borrow my skinny clothes, wear the red sweater,take it off and bury it, a good bra is worth every penny, buy it-you deserve it, with spanx that should fit.
9)Break-ups; burn everything leftover, sleep with someone right away so you won’t go back, delete his number,do you really want a relationship anyway,I’m coming to stay with you,what a bastard.
10)Aging; Are you kidding me? We’re not aging!